My Sister Made Me Read It

ALL THE LITTLE RAINDROPS Review and the Universe Testing Us

• Abby Preteroti/ Amy Preteroti • Episode 7

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It’s Abby’s Week!


On this episode of the My Sister Made Me Read It podcast, it’s Abby’s week to choose what book we read, and she’s decided on the Adult Suspense/ Dark Romance ALL THE LITTLE RAINDROPS by Mia Sheridan.  (24:25:8)


But before they dive in, Amy starts with her rant about everything going wrong including her broken laptop. Abby concurs with her wifi going out and trying not to drown in work, but explains how she recently has become a surrogate mom for four stray cats.


Subscribe and Leave us a Review down below! We want to hear from you and what you thought of All The Little Raindrops. Give it a rating in the comment section of your rating! 


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Credit for Intro and Outro music: This That Shizznit by Beat Mekanik, Free Music Archive, CC BY


Hi everybody, Abby here. I just wanted to get on to give a little trigger warning for the book that we read this week and we'll be discussing. Um, I chose this book for the week and I did not really know, um, The extent of it, so I wanted to jump on here and just give people a little bit of a warning. If this is something that you are not comfortable listening to, we totally understand. Um, you're more than welcome to still listen to our intro. Um, in the show notes, I leave the timestamp of when we actually start getting into the review. We totally understand if you just want to listen to the intro. We totally understand if you just want to skip the episode completely. And if that's the case, we'll see you next week. But, um, Yeah, so let's go through these trigger warnings. We have human trafficking, rape, sexual assault, torture, captivity, kidnapping, dismemberment, abduction, and blood. So if that's you, again, we love you. We'll see you next week. Um, for everyone else, let's get into it.

Track 1:

Hello?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Hello.

Track 1:

Oh, wait, hold on.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I just literally got off that conference call, which was so much longer than it needs to be. Holy shit. Took the dogs out, it's pouring here. Took the dogs out, walked her around in the rain. She would not shit. So I'm like, okay, it's pouring. We come back in the house, shit in the fucking house. Oh man, I'm spiraling, I'm spiraling,

Track 1:

Yeah, the universe is against us this week. That's for damn sure.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

You know when like everything is going wrong life and like

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

That's how like this week has been for me.

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

everything has gone wrong except like. I don't know, morbid stuff. And I just was thinking like I hung up on that conference call and as I was on this conference call, I'm trying to log into my'cause, so, okay, backtrack. My computer, my MacBook died on Monday, so I'm without a computer. So I got this dinosaur of a laptop from work yesterday. Brought it home. I'm home, working from home today'cause I'm sick. I can't log into my fucking work email, like it won't let me log into my work email. I've tried a million different things, a million different ways. It like keeps saying like, what's the code on your verification app? And I'm like, I don't have a verification app. So then I googled what's a verification app? Downloaded a Microsoft verification app. I go to login on the verification app and it says, what's the code on your verification app? And I swear to God, I almost threw my phone out the window. Ugh.

Track 1:

I hate computer shit.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

emails I've got, and I just see'em keep dinging in on my phone, ding, dinging, dinging, dinging every four fucking minutes.'cause I can't properly respond to any of'em because it's, I can't do it off my phone.'cause then I have to, I have to adjust a Word document that I'm having to send out to all these people. And I can't adjust the word document unless I'm on the computer. I am just not having a good time. I'm not having a good time. I really, I really love sobriety. I really love sobriety. I've said that to myself at least 400 times today

Track 1:

Yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

because I want an ice cold appetizer in the form of pure vodka. Okay.

Track 1:

I don't even, yeah, it's just been that week. Like it's just everything. I keep telling Jose, like, I feel like I'm laying in the middle of the road trying not to get ran over, like just dodging cars and shit. It's just like one thing after another. I don't even remember. I don't even know what I ate for breakfast yesterday. Like I just, it's been like a fever dream this week.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I've just been like, I'm eating a cosmic brownie. That's what I'm mutt right now. I don't, I don't know what's happening. Oh my God. Anyways,

Track 1:

Yeah. And then so Amy's computer broke and we were supposed to record, couldn't record'cause Amy's computer was broken. Couldn't get an appointment with Apple until Wednesday.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

bro.

Track 1:

And then we finally get to be able to record this morning and we got a storm all morning and my wifi was out and couldn't record record. So this is take 327 because

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It's

Track 1:

don't know.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It's so hard. But I

Track 1:

But

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

got off of the conference call and I was, and then the dogs were barking at me'cause I had them up in the crate while I was on the call

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

and they were like restless. And it's like they're, I, they're used to being walked so much and it's pouring. So like I can't really walk them as much as I would like for them because I could, but they don't wanna be outside'cause it's raining. So it's just like, I dunno what to

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Like, I really don't know what to do. I need to get like some Trazodone or something. I'm like, drug my dogs

Track 1:

him half a Benadryl.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

bro. And then, um, I get off my call and I'm just like standing, just staring into the abyss and the dogs are barking at me and I'm just like, I literally don't know what to tell you guys. I don't know what to do for you. And

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

you know, when people say like, when you have so much resistance in like your day-to-day life and like, there's so many things that like. Like you're struggling through and there's just like resistance on everything you're trying to do, like maybe you're

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

path. And then I'm literally just like, I can't get, I haven't been able to get into my work email for four fucking days. I haven't been able to work for four fucking days. Like maybe I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Maybe I just need to like move I don't

Track 1:

Redo everything.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

put like a hard reset on my life. Like something in the universe is being like, yeah, no.

Track 1:

Yeah. No,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

no, that's really how I feel. If, if anyone was wondering, that's how

Track 1:

January's always a hard month though. Like every year we were talking about this every year. I just feel like in January I'm like, I don't know what my life is. It's just like always difficult, always something going on. Like last year we were ta, Jose and I were talking about it.'cause last year we were trying to remember what we were doing and he was like, what are you talking about? We were planning our wedding the whole month because. We were getting married in February and we did on such a short timeline, and I was like, oh yeah, I remember being like stressed out that month and then this month it's just like work stuff and his work stuff's crazy and

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

And I don't really feel like that. Like, I don't know, like, and everyone was saying that like at the beginning of this month, like this year was starting off so bad and I like did not feel that at all. Like I

Track 1:

mm-Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

hot as fuck. Like was good. I was in my routine, I was healthy. I had

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

house. My job was flourishing, I was doing great. And then this week it was like, yeah,

Track 1:

It's like

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

trial's over bitch. I

Track 1:

your child.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

You agree with me? Yeah.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

with me. They're going insane too.'cause mom's insane.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. That's what

Track 1:

Did I tell you

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

like, they feel

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I.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

and you're always stressed out and that's why they're always stressed out and then you get stressed out because they're stressed out. And I'm just like, well, I don't know what to fucking tell them.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

dunno.

Track 1:

I don't know if I believe that Luna could never give a shit.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

She's a cat though. Like

Track 1:

That's true.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so in like tune with you and

Track 1:

I guess.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Drex, like sunshine. Like I was walking sunshine last night and sh this bitch just like ran right into like this tree because she was looking at a squirrel. And I was like, I just looked at her and I was like, there's genuinely no thoughts behind her eyes. Like there's no, there's nothing in there. Like,

Track 1:

Uh,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

looked at Drax and Drex is like staring at her and I'm just like,

Track 1:

like that dumb bitch.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

like Drax gets it. Like Drex is, he is here, he is in on the joke. He's like, he gets it. He's, with me like me and

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Sunshine is in her own fucking world. Like doesn't know what's going on at

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

times of the day, she knows is food time and shit in the house. That's all

Track 1:

Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh my god. But Drax is pretty in tune with me, so he gets stressed out when I'm stressed out and sunshine's just chasing a squirrel out

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

whatever land.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Well, Anya,

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cats now. Basically,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh my God, I

Track 1:

have I told you this?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

you're little stray babies.

Track 1:

It started as like around Thanksgiving, I just started feeding this one cat because I went to the backyard one day like on my back porch, and Luna came with me and Luna kinda like perked up and there was this one black cat just staring at me and I got so sucked in because her eyes just were like, I'm so hungry, feed me. And so I of course like gave her food and it was just her for a while. And then she brought this other cat with her that looks to be like one years old. And so I, when we first moved here, I've seen her before and she was pregnant, and so I was like, oh, that's probably like her kitten from that litter. She would be about that age. And then around Christmas she brought me two young kittens. And so now like, and then I felt bad when it rained. They were just like out in the rain. So I moved all of their stuff to the front porch and they've like taken over my front porch. Like every time Amazon comes, they like toss the, toss the package on the porch.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

That's about my Amazon people are too because you've seen my house, like I, how I have the window at

Track 1:

Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

have my ottoman propped up. So sunshine.'cause she likes to see out'cause she's just like a squirrel tracker. That bitch is just on'em all

Track 1:

Oh yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So she just stands and looks at the window. But the people have to come walk right up to the window to deliver my packages.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

bitch thinks she could crawl like claw through the glass. Like she's like rah, like this, like at the glass. And I'm just like, and people and like sometimes I'll be like in the kitchen and you know, it's a big window so you can see me. And I'm just like, sorry.

Track 1:

So sorry.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I don't know. She's a psycho. And then I insta carted so I'm sick so I insta carted medicine the other day.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

um. Someone came to drop it off and sunshine's freaking the fuck out. Like at like the window scratching, scratching, scratching. And I'm just in my head like, why won't this lady just walk away, put this stuff on the bench and like walk away? But she's just

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

sunshine is going nuts. And then Drex is going nuts because she's going fucking nuts. And I'm like, what the hell? So I open the door and she's like, I need to see your id. And I'm like, oh my God.'cause I got Tylenol sinus severe,

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

they need to see

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Stupid.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

dogs' are going crazy. I'm like, and she's just kinda like, Ugh. And I'm like, they're really friendly. I swear they're psychotic.

Track 1:

on crack cocaine.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

psycho. I'm like, oh God.

Track 1:

Yeah. That happened to me. A long time ago, I didn't know they carded for medicine and I was sick and I ran in to go get medicine and it's the only thing I bought. I went to self-checkout and it was like, ID, or no, I went to the lady and I was like, I'm, I think you have to be like 18. I don't even know if you have to be 21.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I think it's

Track 1:

And, and she was like, you don't have your id? And I was like, no, I just, I forgot my id. And she was like, sorry. And you could like physically tell I was sick. I was like, bitch, just let it pass. Put your birth date in there.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Put your birthday down, bitch.

Track 1:

Like, I was like, when have you, like, I've never known that you needed to have your ID for that, but I guess you do.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, you do. Imagine if you're like buying a plane B and they're like, nah, sorry. And you're

Track 1:

I am sorry.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

have a window. Please, please just gimme the pill.

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You're gonna ruin my life.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

You've gonna ruin my life. you gonna pay my child

Track 1:

Uh,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh my God.

Track 1:

this is funny. Did uh, have you seen that TikTok trend where.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

which one. What do you mean?

Track 1:

It's older, but it's when like the wife goes to the husband and is like, name a woman's name.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

Okay. So I did this to Jose the other day and he was like, we, so we name our cars. And so he said, Charlotte, because we just named our new car Charlotte after, because we got in Charlotte. And I was like, no, no. Like a, like a real name,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that like

Track 1:

huh?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

married people are weird?

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that what you do in marriage? You just name your cars?

Track 1:

I named my car in high school. Like my car I have now is named Eleanor from, based off of the movie just right.'cause she has a Mustang with a dent in the corridor or whatever. It was one of my favorite movies at the time,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I've never heard you

Track 1:

she called her name her car Eleanor. So you always call my car Eleanor. And um, so yeah, we were like, so we always like, are like, are you gonna drive Eleanor? Or we had. We just sold it actually. But we had an old pickup truck that his dad let us, gave it like we got from his dad. We paid from his dad. And we always called that Rusty. So we would always be like, are you taking Eleanor? Are you taking Rusty? So we knew we had to like, do, do a different one. And um, yeah. So he was like, so back to this fucking friend, whatever. And um, he was like, Charlotte. And I was like, no, no, like you have to give me a real name. And he said, what did he, he said something and it wasn't, I was like, why aren't you saying my name? And he was like, well, I thought about my mom's name. I was like, I was surprised you didn't say your mom's name. And then I was like, well what about this one? And I told him, I was like, if I died and you got remarried, who you gonna get married? Who you gonna get married next to? And he was like, well, whoever I love more.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

That's such a dad answer. Dad

Track 1:

And I was like, no. I was like, what? I was like, what? No, like you're supposed to love me more. And he was like, well, I can't tell you that I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna love her more. And I was like, Jose, this is not how this was supposed to go. You're supposed to say

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

for

Track 1:

like, you wanna, you like, if I died, you would never wanna remarry. He looked at me and you know, Jose always jokes around. He goes, yeah, you're right. He goes, I'm gonna try men next.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I love that. What if someone said something at work the other day? What the fuck did he say? He said something like I, I like made a drink or something, and it was like something different. And he tried it and it was good and he was like, that is the best idea you've ever had. Or he like said something like that and someone looked at him and goes, you should kiss a dude next. I was like, what? Like what? I don't understand. The brain of a boy is so fascinating. Like what?

Track 1:

God.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

There's,

Track 1:

Jose says some wild shit sometimes, and I'm like, where does that even come from?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

there's just like, don't know, girls are so much different. Like, so much different.

Track 1:

Yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

much different. I can't, it's really funny.

Track 1:

what happened? I can't,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

What was I about

Track 1:

I have some sad news for you.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

God. Barker

Track 1:

I, yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I know. I knew you were gonna say that we had telepathy. I know, I saw that. But you know what I

Track 1:

it's for the best.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

glad that

Track 1:

Did you see that she went on TikTok and like people found her

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1:

and like connected the story? Oh yeah. I sent that to you. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Have you

Track 1:

I feel like that was two weeks ago.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

have you seen the new, um, love on the

Track 1:

Love on Spectrum. I've seen like the videos on TikTok. I haven't gone and watched it.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I've been watching the show since it came out

Track 1:

Yeah, I remember you were a big advocate for it.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

everybody thought I was like, appropriating, like autism and

Track 1:

Autism.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

literally wasn't like, it's just the most heartfelt show you'll ever watch. It's the sweetest.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

a new guy on one of the shows, I forget his name, but he is so me I laugh every time I see him. He's the, um, I'm gonna have to find him to remember his name, but he's the one, he's got like red curly hair kind of.

Track 1:

Oh, I don't know if I saw that one.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh my God. It's so, he's

Track 1:

just saw like.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so stressed out. He's like in a stressed out mood 24 7 and his parents are kind of older and his parents are so. Funny. And they're just like, like, not, they don't make fun of him, obviously, but they like,

Track 1:

Oh, was this the one who said like, he didn't, he wore pants yesterday. He didn't wanna wear pants today?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

maybe his name's

Track 1:

I think it's,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

He's freaking out because he, for, he lost his wallet and his dad

Track 1:

I can't see

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

his dad's like drinking out of a mug and he's like showing the camera, his mug. And the dad's like, this is my favorite mug. And James is in the back, like, I can't find my wallet, my checkbook. Is it on the

Track 1:

my checkbook.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Did you bring it with you? No, it would be at the bank then. I know I had it in my hands. I left the binge call Banco. Hold on. Wait for the dad, James, when he was three or four. I know daddy and daddy loves me. Well, this is a coffee mug. James got me when he was three or four and then, hold on. Yes. He finds it. Hold on. He's on the phone with the bank and he just is like the whole time. I'm sorry. Okay. Yes. There's no emergency.

Track 1:

There's no urgency.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

He found

Track 1:

That's a man, that's a, that's a man thing. Losing everything is a man thing.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

but his pure

Track 1:

Oh,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

about it made me laugh so fucking

Track 1:

that is funny.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It was so

Track 1:

No, like Jose just has started and it doesn't bother me, but Jose has just started to come to me and be like, be like, where, do you know where this is? And I'm like, yeah, they're here. And he'll be like, oh, here they thanks. Like, or like I'll be, it's like. He wants to eat something and I'm like, it's in the fridge. Like go get it. And he'll be like, where is it? And I'm like explaining the exact spot it's in. He's like, I don't see it. And I'm like,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Have you

Track 1:

I get up and I go and get it.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

they, uh, it's so annoying. I just can't, I, there was, there was this meme that I told the other day and I'm like, I've never seen anything that I've resonated more. Can you please not? He's just staring at me.

Track 1:

He's like, mom, I want a podcast cameo.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

No, I don't care what he wants. He is freaking annoying. This is the most me meme I've ever seen in my life. It says in a bad mood. And watching my boyfriend complete a task really slowly. What could go wrong?

Track 1:

Yeah. Yeah. That's real.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh my God, that is so

Track 1:

God.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Ugh.

Track 1:

That happened to me the other day. I don't remember what it was, but I remember just being like, I need to walk away, or I'm just gonna get upset.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Abby, I, this is me every single day because of who I work with. And

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

there sometimes

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

him try to do something and everyone's like watching me, like, uh, are you about to freak out? And I'm just like, what the fuck are you doing? And I will just have to walk away.'cause I'm just like, and

Track 1:

I know.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

at me like, and I'm like, I can't stand you. I can't stand you. I can't stand looking at you.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It's just like, it makes me wanna explode. Like watching someone like that complete a

Track 1:

I'm too much of a control freak. Like I just like things done a certain way.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, same.

Track 1:

Like I like my bed made a certain way where, to the point where I had to teach Jose how to make it the certain way. I, I only wash the dishes. He like helps once in a while, but like I get upset with how he puts the dishes on the dish rack and then he takes like twice the amount of time to do the dishes and I'm like, you're wasting water. Let me just do it.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

wasting water and my time and quite frankly, my air. So please get

Track 1:

Yeah. So please let me just do it. Go read,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah. I'm scared for

Track 1:

but

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

sure,

Track 1:

it's okay. They'll have you just marry someone with patience like Jose and you'll be fine.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

just farted so loud. It scared him. Oh, what is happening?

Track 1:

Maybe he just has gas.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

out because I'm stressed out. I know he is. You got the,

Track 1:

He's got,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

got the ada.

Track 1:

he has the upset stomach.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. I literally convinced myself the other night that I was having a stroke because, and I laid in bed and I couldn't sleep. And now looking at myself as we're recording, I feel like my right eye is droopy. Do you think that

Track 1:

No,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. That's why I keep touching my face.

Track 1:

Amy, if it was like, it should be like a drastic change, if that was happening, it wouldn't be little. I, you're fine.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I, you know, when like you have a stroke, like, okay, so I'll tell you this real quick and then we'll talk about this book.

Track 1:

Okay.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I've been, you know, when you have a stroke, people say that you like smell burnt.

Track 1:

Or like taste metallic. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. One of those Don't tell me that. I thought it was just a burn.

Track 1:

I saw all your.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Like I do taste metallic as we speak. It's not funny.

Track 1:

Okay. Maybe it's not metallic.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay, so the other night I literally, Abby, this is how psychotic I am. I literally think I blew out a candle in the kitchen and then I got in bed and I'm like, I think I'm having a stroke. I

Track 1:

The house is, the house is on fire.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

and I literally just blew a candle out. So obviously it smells burnt, but I forgot that I blew the candle out. So I thought I was having a stroke'cause I was smelling burnt.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

And then through the, the past few nights I've been smelling like, like I like lay down and I smell like a, like sweet, like peaches, I think. And I think I discovered, I was like, like the last night I was like sniffing like my sheets and like, I'm like, I don't use anything really for Rudy.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I don't like love fruity smells. But you know, what I've been doing

Track 1:

Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

is before bed I, so I ran outta my cherry juice and I just haven't been going to the store. And

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

non-alcoholic beer. I pour my non-alcoholic beer in a wine glass because I'm trying to trick my brain. So I'm drinking out of this wine glass, and when the, when the glass is like sitting next to my bed, it like has like a sweet smell. The beer does.

Track 1:

Oh

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I'm just like smelling like my, what I'm actually drinking. And I'm like, what the fuck? Why do I smell peaches? Is this like another stroke symptom?

Track 1:

yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I've been like spiraling about that. And then I realized this morning, oh, I think it's just my beer.

Track 1:

I was about to tell you, maybe you have a ghost that just had like a peach perfume.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Well, I mean, I don't think a ghost would make themselves, um, like reveal themselves a week before I move out.

Track 1:

That's true. Maybe she's saying goodbye.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I have been thinking about, um, a lot. I'm,

Track 1:

Yeah. Anything to add to that?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I've been thinking about ghosts a lot'cause I'm like, I'm like, I think I, I, I don't think obviously, but I, what if my new house is haunted and there's ghosts in it,

Track 1:

Well,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

which

Track 1:

I don't know.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

but I just have been thinking about that.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah. Anyways.

Track 1:

Do you wanna get into this book?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

Oh, I guess we should do the intro. I always forget. Welcome back to my sister. Made Me Read it. Thanks for tuning into this Chaotic Podcast. Podcast.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Podcast,

Track 1:

It's a podcast, everybody.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

dude. I just turned on my Kindle

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

reading the ritual right now and it

Track 1:

Uhhuh.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

This book is so fucking crazy. I love

Track 1:

Well, we're not reading the ritual this week. We read All the Little Raindrops by Mia Sheridan. I chose this book.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yes. Let

Track 1:

I guess I didn't read the synopsis because I did not think this is what this book was about.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

you think it was about?

Track 1:

I knew, I knew it was a thriller, a suspension thriller, but I didn't know it was about like human trafficking kind of.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

yeah,

Track 1:

I don't know.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

let me

Track 1:

It just like it, like you start and they've been captured and they're like locked in cages and it's like saw 2.0.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

That is, um, why can't I go to my notes? Hold on. Oh, here. It's, um, so when I first started reading this book, I was like. Okay, this is giving Still beating, which is one of my favorite books,

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

which you haven't read, right?

Track 1:

No, but I was on Good Reads when I finished this book, reading the reviews, and a couple people were saying the exact same thing.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So when you first started, it's like very much like still beating. And that's why when I first started reading it, I wasn't very into it because I was like, still beatings one of my favorite books. Still Beatings does it so much better, but it's not like after finishing the book, it's not even like into, you know, the first quarter of it. It's nothing like still beating. It is

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

premise of like, um, entire book is not the captivity part. Like you kind of, most books are, it's kind of

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Like the book is about their lives after which I really like,

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

but this had a different angle. Still Beating is a Love, is a romance is a love story.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Has that aspect of it, but this also had like true crime aspect and them trying to solve a case, still beatings not like that at all. So it is different.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It is definitely different. but so do you wanna do a synopsis or do you want me to,

Track 1:

I suck at doing synopsis, but I can

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so

Track 1:

you can do,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

this book is about, um, oh my God, what is her fucking name? Why am I blinking on her name?

Track 1:

yeah. You just asked me and now I can't tell you. Uh, Noelle

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Noelle. Holy shit.

Track 1:

Evan.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, I know Evan. So this book, uh, our main characters are Evan and Noelle. They're in high school and opening. We get, um, their, well, Noelle is kind of first, she wakes up in captivity. She's locked in a cage,

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I had difficulty like imagining.

Track 1:

The cage. Same.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I'm thinking like the cages I have in my, in the dog's room, but I think they're bigger than that.

Track 1:

Uh, I think they're tiny, but bigger than that.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

No, I

Track 1:

But I see. I didn't think they were that small. I originally thought they were bigger

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I thought they were,

Track 1:

to where like they could, I thought they were like, so you could stand up. And then as I kept reading, reading, I realized it was like, no, they can't stand up, but they can stretch out.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

So it's more of like a rectangle than a square.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

cages and then she wakes up disoriented, doesn't know where she is. And then, um, someone is shoved into a cage next to her. It's

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, so they can't see each other. But then, um, lights go on. They, they start talking and they realize, they know each other. They go to the same high school.

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

um, something on page nine. Um. He said, do you go to Northland High? He finally asked, she let outta breath? Yes. is your name Nicole Noelle Meyer? She swallowed? Yes. then, um, she suddenly knew exactly who he was. Evan Sinclair. She all but whispered. Your father is Leonard Sinclair. He killed my mother.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So now we know that they know each other and they have like a common, um, thingy.

Track 1:

Commonality. Yeah. Uh, did this, I mean, I think it did, but did this book remind you of, saw the movie saw?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, not

Track 1:

saw, and we can, we can go more into that and tell everybody about how you traumatized me with SA as a kid, but saw like the two people. I don't, because I think I was traumatized. I don't remember those movies very well. Um. But saw the one with, I just keep remembering, like the one when he cuts his hand off to escape and saw those two people knew each other too,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

That's how Saw

Track 1:

and it was like a similar relationship. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so

Track 1:

So when I, when I read that, I was like, oh, okay.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

yeah. So basically there, there as we see as the story unfolds a little bit in this first quarter of the book, um, there's kind of like a, like a doorman basically that's kind of like in control of cages and locking them up and stuff. And, um, he comes in and says to Noelle that she's been rented, which we don't know what that means. We can make assumptions on what that could mean. So now the, uh, reader's kind of having thoughts like, okay, like they being sex trafficked? That's kind of where your mind goes at first. That's where my mind went. Um, and he tells her that she has a choice. My eyeball's freaking me out. I can't even look at myself.

Track 1:

Fine.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. Um, tells her like, you have a choice. You could go with me. Um, or I could, you could stay here and I can cut off his fingers. And so now we see like, okay, they're gonna pin each other, pin them against each other in

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

They already have this hatred for each other

Track 1:

Animosity. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

um, Noelle's mother was murdered and

Track 1:

By his father.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

his father is the person who killed her mother. to, I was kind of surprised, but not like super shocked. But she is like, no, like, take me, like, she didn't want him to lose his fingers. So after that, after Evan sees that, like she did that for him, like, he decides like, okay, we're gonna get out of this together no matter what happens. Like, we're not gonna let them pens against each other. So that's where the friendship kind of starts, right?

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. See.

Track 1:

So I wrote down the percentages of the books because I think it goes in like cha like parts. It's, it feels cut up to me. 30% of the be begin like from 1% to 30% there in captivity. And it's like in this, this kind of like routine of. Getting delivered food, getting like something special on their plates and sharing it and have moments. And then one of them being rented out and they're like, no, we stay whole. And then it's like, um, they go out, she gets raped, he gets raped, he gets beaten up, and then she has like this weird inter interaction with this guy who she thinks is gonna rape her, but he blind, he has her blindfolded and just gives her a massage.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

there yet

Track 1:

Why?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

okay. So the, the first quarter of this book was my favorite. It was the most interesting to me.

Track 1:

Yeah. I agree.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So as these things are happening, you know, not much time is going by. Maybe like two days they get fed. Um, and then one of'em is rented. They're offered cut off his tongue, cut off his toenail, you know, cut off her ear, like random shit. And they're like, no, no,

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

take us. Well, let me find, and throughout these chapters, like we're going back and forth on the perspective of, um, the main characters, Evan and Noelle. And then we go back and forth with a character that calls himself the collector. Um, and we realize the collector is watching them. Um, so I made some notes on the collector because at first, at first, at first I was like, okay, the collector's, the person who kidnapped them. And then as we're reading more of the collector side, I'm like, okay, no, I don't think the collector kidnapped

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

the collector says things like, I highlighted on page 34, the collector had grown up in that world. He understood the inner working. So like, okay, I am like maybe happening to them has happened to the collector and maybe he's like a vigilante. So that's kind of where my mind went at first. And then it kind of is creating, it's kind of like, for lack of better words, like world building.'cause now you're trying to understand, okay, we have two captives that are pinned against each other. They obviously have a connection. Someone is watching them, but the person watching them is not the person who kidnapped them or created. So now we're looking at some type of. Uh, bidding system'cause we know they're being rented.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

to put all this stuff together, like, okay. Is this like a Craigslist ad? Is this like, like a video, weird video game, real life video game that people are trying to put together? Like you're

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that in the middle of trying to put that together, going back and forth between them and the collector's point of view? Noel and Evan are trying to plan their escape and in the midst after they both get rented a few times, um, in the midst of that, we start seeing how Evan and Noelle communicate and they start singing to each other.

Track 1:

Singing lullabies. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

singing lullabies and at first. Evan is like, okay, yeah, whatever. He started singing to her because when she came back from being rented the first time, she asked him to turn around and make noise.'cause she wanted some privacy to like clean herself up.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

he did that. So I think that like, gave her the idea to

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So as they're singing or after that, she tells him, Hey, I wanna tell you like a story. So she tells him a story about her mom,

Track 1:

Her mom.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

telling the story, some things don't make sense. Like she replaces like certain words and puts emphasis on certain words that like shouldn't be there. And he picks up on it and they're kind of communicating with their eyes. So they've, they've assumed that they're being watched because they're being

Track 1:

Mm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so they know that they're being watched. So what they say, they're assuming, they're also being listened to. So they

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

want to discuss plans of escape just like outright. So they start like. Kind of creating their own language with each other.

Track 1:

Yeah. Um, so the book's written in third person omniscient, and it jumped from like person to person Often.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It

Track 1:

Did that like bother you? Hated it. But did that bother you?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I was like, Abby hates this. know you

Track 1:

I just, I don't like, I don't like books that like. Don't create that dramatic irony or like just, it's so hard to connect to a character when you're like, flip-flopping everywhere.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It doesn't bother me as much as I know it bothers you.

Track 1:

I think it would've been fine if it was just like Noelle and the Collector the whole time. Like, I don't think it was necessary to have Evan and then I really don't think later on it was necessary to have like grim and Ciro, I think was his name. The other two men who get ca who get cap, uh, captured. Sorry. Um, but yeah, so

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I liked them though. anyways.

Track 1:

thought the same thing about, so I always thought the, um, like whole situation was high end. Like I, I I instantly imagine like these high-end dark people running this like lots of money here.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

of, you know what it kind of reminded me of was

Track 1:

Hmm. Okay. So I was, I was, I asked Jose this

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

last

Track 1:

because.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

of Squid Game.

Track 1:

Is it in squid games where there's like a scene where they walk into this room and it's all like these rich people basically like watching on screens. What's happening? It is squid games. Right. I was trying to figure out if those squid games, squid games are not,'cause the whole time I was reading this, I was just imagining that and then it happens at the end. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that's what reminded me of it because, and we'll get to it at the end of this book, but in Squid games, it's basically like this organization of these. Unbelievably wealthy, like disgustingly wealthy people who

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

who create this game for their own pleasure basically and make Betts on it.

Track 1:

Yeah.'cause they can't find pleasure anywhere else.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

what this book is.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

end of Squid Game, it's like the last two episodes when the, when they've kind of dwindled down to like the finals of the squid

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

where the people, like the main people who participate in the game come to like the squid games warehouse and they're hosted and they have like the big dinner and um, they're all wearing like the expensive like masks.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm. Yes. That's what it is. Yes. The whole time I was reading it was bothering me. I couldn't remember if it was that or not,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

but I think, I think that's why Squid Games does such a good job.'cause Squid Games leans into that like darkness. And I feel like this book just didn't lean in enough for me to be like, I don't know, like captivated enough. And then it changes. But we can talk about that. Like, so they start talking to each other through these lullabys, and then the collector, you jump to the collector's point of view and the collector's picking up on it.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

The

Track 1:

So once he started,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, so

Track 1:

at that point,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

he's a, um, viewer, basically. We'll say he's a

Track 1:

yeah, at that po. But at that point, like I still thought he was like the showrunner.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I,

Track 1:

So I was like,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that,

Track 1:

okay, maybe it was just me.'cause then I was like, oh, like he's gonna intervene somehow so they can't, like, I don't know, maybe I just went darker than it needed to be.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

what did I highlight? These things? I like highlighted and made notes of things and I'm like trying to understand. I highlighted something that says, of course the collector knew very well that it had, and I just put question marks. Similar situation. I don't think M Meyers is the collector. Who is M Meyers? That's her dad. Because remember Evan like accused her dad of being the collector.

Track 1:

Later on in the book.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. And then I highlighted something and said, okay, so players can send in the objects. They control the game. I'm like talking myself through it.

Track 1:

Yeah. And that's like Hunger Games.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

collector isn't the inventor of the game. He is a player among others. I said that on page 36. So that's when I figured that out. And

Track 1:

Yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

highlighted

Track 1:

reminded me of Hunger Games.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

when they send in things,

Track 1:

Yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

trying to find where to plug in this fucking dinosaur.'cause it, I like don't, because that would just be it for me. If the computer died in the middle of this, that would just be it for

Track 1:

we'd call it, this would be all that you got from this episode, guys.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I don't know what else to say. Let me find where to plug this fucker in because, and I've got this whole, oh, maybe that's it. No. Oh, here it's,

Track 1:

Yeah. I, I don't think I realized the collector was a player and not a head showrunner till like. Probably the, towards the end of them. Yeah. Oh, no, probably, probably when he came.'cause I realized that was him, obviously, who came and gave her the massage. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

So then I was like, oh, cool. Okay. Okay.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, the collector, as the readers know, rents Noelle.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

her, he is talking to her and he talks to her in the language that her and Evan have picked up.

Track 1:

Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So he's telling her a story, and in the story he's emphasizing certain words to try to like tell her a secret, like a hidden message,

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

she figures it out. Later on, she figures it out, but he leaves her a pencil and says, Hey, like, I know like some of these sick fucks that rent you like, just want to use you for like, you know, like sexual assault. But I get off on poems, so write me a poem. That's pretty much

Track 1:

Yeah. Yeah. He said something to the effect of like, I wanna take something home, or, or something like that.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

type thing. So

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

him a poem, but at in doing that, he has to leave her like a writing utensil. So he leaves her a pencil and she kind of is like, oh fuck yeah, she breaks the pencil and puts it in her pocket, like to try to

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

was the whole intent of him doing that.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So she brings that back, um, she brought her hand from beneath her head. Okay. Yeah. So that was like the whole intent of the pencil. Now the pencil she brings back, well just all the other shit is kind of like Noel and Void. They get rented a few more times. Her and Evan come up with a plan. Um.

Track 1:

Well, they're also getting stuff in their meal, like they get presents when they get their meals. So they've gotten, uh, a nail clipper to like do their nails. She, they got fake rose petals, like fabric rose petals, and they got something else. Oh, they got a hammer, like a, not a ball penan hammer, but like a rubber head hammer.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, I

Track 1:

then they got something else. We have one. That's the only reason I knew what it was. It's more like a mallet, but it's like PLAs, like softer plastic on the end instead of metal.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I loved this part when they figured it out that they were speaking to each other in code. I highlighted it and I just said,

Track 1:

When Who? When the collector figured it out.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

no, no, no. When

Track 1:

Oh, when Evan figured out.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it said, Evan stilled understanding, dawning the song. He thought she'd forgotten the words and was inserting the wrong ones to make up for what she didn't remember. But no, she'd been inserting the words For a what? She's been inserting words for him. Dude, when I listen back to us talk, sometimes I say to myself like, people must think you're fucking imb soul.'cause I say things sometimes and I'm like, that makes zero sense. Or I mispronounce things and I'm like, I swear I know how to speak English.

Track 1:

Yeah. Same.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

been inserting words for him to pick out and string together a secret way of speaking that would be just between them because she believed, as did he, they were being watched and listened to. And then he said, no. He said meeting her eyes. I do understand perfectly. And I just was like, oh my god. These smart

Track 1:

What page is that on?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, 36,

Track 1:

Yeah. So on page 39, we get the,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Sorry.

Track 1:

oh,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that is on page 55.

Track 1:

Oh, okay.'cause on page 39 is where we get the title of the book. And I, I still don't,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

always

Track 1:

I

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it.

Track 1:

don't, I don't know if I liked the title of the book.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

don't like it either, but because it doesn't make sense. It's like one

Track 1:

page,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it's

Track 1:

page 39, it's when he's singing a lullaby and it says If all the little raindrops were lemon drops and lollipops. That's the only time it's mentioned,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I know. I highlighted it. I always

Track 1:

which was weird.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

is been a

Track 1:

Like I almost wanted it to finish, and this is a spoiler alert'cause we haven't gotten to it yet, but I almost wanted it to finish at the end of the book. Like him being a father to their kid and singing that same lullaby.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

this is why

Track 1:

And it would have like,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so good.

Track 1:

yeah, but it would've been like, almost like chilling of like,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

moment.

Track 1:

yeah, it just didn't close up for me at the end.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Mia.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

But um, yeah, go to page 47. That's when like he's talking to him. I think he's talking to himself about like, we leave here whole, and then it like goes on, he says, but he realizes Noelle was no longer whole, she already had something taken from her and he was all but contained.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, I'm sad.

Track 1:

Basically, I don't know what I wrote, my handwriting's horrible.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Basically, I dunno why,

Track 1:

basically he, she, he realized that they, they would never, they couldn't leave this captivity without being whole. And that's the start of like this idea of PTSD and trauma. And then when they go on and like, they escape

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

bro. They struggle.

Track 1:

and they have like this, they have like this, the sex,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

They do the sex.

Track 1:

they have the sex, they have sex in the motel room. And then later on in her house, I just kept being like, oh yeah, that's trauma bonding. Trauma bonding. Trauma bonding.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

these

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

bonders. Love them. Love her like a

Track 1:

It's like.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, I want, uh, clarify. He didn't love her like a sister. That's just a saying. I use, I'm,

Track 1:

This week is a toll. Guys,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

fucking place. I'm just looking at my, my notes and I

Track 1:

I didn't even catch that.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

no, he does not love her. Like a sister. No. Um, yeah. Mm-Hmm. Um, I'm reading my notes and I'm giggling like a little school girl because I am so funny. Okay, so highlight note. Yes. This is, um, what the collector is saying. Yes. Similar to twin language. Indeed. No wonder he caught on when he's like catching onto their

Track 1:

They're Luby. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. Collector is a twin. That's my note. 10

Track 1:

Oh, I didn't catch that.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Bitch, do you pay attention when you read? I really would like to know.

Track 1:

Yeah, I do actually.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Uh, 10 pages later, collector speaking, who knew better than him? So I said, I think he was a contestant four pages later. He'd been angry once too. I think I'm right. Bitch. That my note, like I'm just validating myself,

Track 1:

Yeah, but it wasn't like, and we'll get to the ending. I didn't really care for the ending.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

my next note, I can't, it's too far on. We'll talk about it. Um, so they escape. So they do escape. They use the things that they've gotten and they escape. There's nothing really important up until that. So I mean,

Track 1:

They just used this. Yeah, they just, I think that's the only thing I,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

a fire, they escape. Um.

Track 1:

and they kill somebody on the way out. Do they kill both of them or do they, I think they kill both of'em.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

they, they, they kill one of them and knock one of them out. And that's why she's paranoid that he's gonna run after her, but he

Track 1:

That's right.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that's also a theme is like once they're out of the, the grounds of where they're kept, no one chases after them.

Track 1:

Yeah, that's the thing. Like they didn't know if there was hundreds of people in there, 50 people in there. They didn't know if the people that were renting them were there or if they flew in.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

where

Track 1:

Like they didn't, they didn't know anything. So then they get out of this like, it's like this abandoned factory kind of, and they're in the middle of the desert and it's like they're in Mexico. And so then like the whole night they're just, which, hold on, we need to go back. The scene where he's pounding his hand to like mush.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

unnecessary.

Track 1:

I mean, it was necessary to get out, but it was just like, ugh. I don't know.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

please.

Track 1:

Please. I read darker things than that.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh

Track 1:

You pansy, please,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

The animosity in that

Track 1:

whatever.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

anyways.

Track 1:

so then they're, they're walking all night through this desert. The next morning they come across, um, this family in like a truck going to town. And the family like takes them to this town. They get to the town, they're like, where's the police? And they're like, no, you don't wanna talk to the police. Which is very true in Mexico. You don't wanna talk to the police in Mexico.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

And um, so they go to a motel, they get a motel room, and he tell me if you agree. I felt like when he calls his dad, it was like weird.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um,

Track 1:

It just felt off to me

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

yeah. I mean, the dad, we have to like re remember like who the dad is though. Like, he's like a, I don't know.

Track 1:

when, what we find out at the end too. But

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

his dad anyway, so, you know, I

Track 1:

yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

the whole like hotel scene of it all was so random to me. So they like get in a hotel, they shower and then they like look at each other and just start fucking,

Track 1:

Basically,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

like I did

Track 1:

it was,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

there.

Track 1:

I didn't either and I was kind of uncomfortable.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh, please.

Track 1:

Again,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I was, I had to reread the paragraph because I was like, wait,

Track 1:

you're like, wait, that's happening.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

'cause it was so like.

Track 1:

I wasn't uncomfortable, but it was like a moment where it was like, should we be doing this type, type situation? But then it, there's a sentence, and I didn't highlight it, but there's a sentence where she was like, Noelle said, I wanna do this and have this as a memory instead of have everything else as a, like the other men in memory. Um, because her first time was when she was being raped.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

they obviously developed such a strong, I mean their survival depended on each other. Like you can have empathy for that.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

they developed such a strong relationship and then they finally are able to have, get their hands on each other and like, I think it was just such like a primal thing. Like they just needed to know that they were both okay. I think that's where it stemmed, stemmed from, I think the author took it in a different direction Noelle a little bit, but like I could kind of understand it being like the way I described it, are also young too. Like you have to think about that too.

Track 1:

Well, I think I was just, as you were saying that, I was just thinking they've, I don't remember how long, I think it was like two weeks they were in captivity and every night they would like fall asleep with just like their fingers linked.'cause that's as like much as they could get. So I feel like if you've gone through something like that and you'd like ha, wanting physical touch and physical affection is like a really real thing when you're going through trauma and like, I think at that point maybe too, they kind of realized this is our first chance to kind of like have that like arms around me type of moment.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I don't blame him for that, honestly. It just took me

Track 1:

Yeah. Yeah, me too. But um, yeah, and then the dad shows up the next morning she can't get ahold of her dad and they can only get ahold of his dad. And so the dad's like, I'm gonna come pick you up and be there in four hours. So he comes the next morning and he's with police and stuff, and he's like. Basically like, I'll take you son, we'll get your hand fixed and then by Noelle go in this other truck

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Oh

Track 1:

like this other

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Noelle, like, I understand Noelle, but I was so, team Evan, like this whole book,

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I loved his energy and like, he just became so attached to her and like was not afraid of that. And she like, was like, I think she also became attached to him, but was afraid of being attached to him. And like even like that moment, like when they were, the dad tried to separate them.

Track 1:

mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

he was like, no, she's coming with me. And she was like, no, it's okay. Like I would've never done that. I've been like, yeah, we're sticking together. But um, yeah, we find out Noelle's dad died while she was gone

Track 1:

he had a heart attack.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

random.

Track 1:

It is really random and I, knowing the ending, I don't think it was necessary.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

was so

Track 1:

If they wanted him to be dead at the end for them to like not have answers, he should have died like a year or two after they got released or, uh, got freedom or whatever from like natural causes and like something of like, oh, we never talked about, I was never comfortable to talk about or healed enough to talk about at that point. I just, I don't know. I don't think it was necessary. I think it was just like another thing to keep track of. And then it was always, I mean, this book too, and I think this is like a commonality in a lot of thrillers and suspense when you're trying to figure out who's the bad guy at the end of the book and like, what's like going on. It just felt like she wanted to keep as many doors open as she could to keep the reader on their toes. And I don't know if I, and every book I read that's this way, I don't really think it works that well.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, I mean I feel like a lot of the middle part of this book was unnecessary too. So they escape. We find out the dad's dead. Um, they're separated for like two weeks because Noel says, Evan, I think we need some space. Like we just went through something crazy like, let me grieve my father. Um, and they're separated

Track 1:

He goes to her house.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

to her house, they have sex again, then the dad shows up and it's like, son, get the fuck outta here. Because dad obviously doesn't want him around Noelle because they have like lawsuits and shit. I don't know. Like they have issues'cause he killed her

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

And um, we have this big

Track 1:

Well, he called her Poison. I don't know if it's that scene or if it was the earlier scene. He kept saying like, she's PO poison that family's poison.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I don't know, unnecessary.

Track 1:

the one who's poisoned.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

to

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, and she's like, no, Evan, I think we need some time apart. Flash, fast forward how many years?

Track 1:

It was one year, the first time

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

meet, um,

Track 1:

for like coffee.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

and end up going back to a hotel room and having sex again.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I, hi. I highlighted a,

Track 1:

A couple times.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

yeah, I highlighted a spot and it says, um, I love you. That's why when this is over, I'll let you go. So she, they're in the same spot, like they've reconnected, but then they still don't feel healed enough to like be in each other's lives. Like they need to go beyond their own again,

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

which is crazy. And then we ha we finished that up and then we fast forward, what, seven years?

Track 1:

Seven years. So it's been eight years total since they've been released.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it's been, um, it's, the rest of the book is kind of, in my opinion, I think is like more so in Evan's point of view.

Track 1:

A huge chunk of it is, yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

on out, which I liked, I liked him a

Track 1:

But like at this point, we're still only like 45% in. Because at 50% is when he finds out Cali is his daughter. I wrote that down.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So basically Evan is now a private investigator

Track 1:

He dropped outta Stanford.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, him and Noelle haven't had contact since the hotel room. They're doing their own, they're having their own lives. He doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't know what he's doing. He's a private investigator. One of his, the people he works with comes to him and says, Hey, I found this case. it feels very similar to what you went through. I want you, like, if you wanna look into it, because he's told her like, Hey, if you see anything like this,'cause he's still like, nothing was ever wrapped up with his

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm. Yeah. They like, yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

about anything. So he's kind of looked into it like his whole career and he finds a case that seems very similar. He does some digging. It is similar.

Track 1:

It was the old man who was in prison for theft. I think.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

he goes and talks,

Track 1:

He decides to go and see him.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

talks to this guy and there kind of like line up. So he is like, this is strange. Is this like a pattern? Um, and so he keeps looking into it. And then, I mean, details, details that aren't really important. Basically what happens is in order to look into it a little bit more, he wants to talk to Noelle. of calling her, he finds her

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

to where she now works, which is like a,

Track 1:

South Carolina

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it's like a, um. It's like a resort type, like

Track 1:

Little Cottage Resort.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

um, that she works at. And he goes and surprises her and she's shocked to see him. And we find out there's a daughter. And once Evan sees her daughter, he's like, holy shit. Like, he like, knows immediately that that's his kid.

Track 1:

She's like six years old.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

years old. She

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

him. So he talks to Noelle and he's all upset with her. She basically got pregnant that night that they went back to the hotel seven years ago she never wanted to tell him'cause she didn't wanna derail his life. And he, she knew that they weren't done healing from what had happened. Like I understand why she did those things, but I still was like, I wouldn't have done it

Track 1:

She said, she said like we agreed that night that we wouldn't be in each other's lives, that we would go our own ways. And he was like, yeah, but like the terms changed, like you got pregnant. It wasn't like, you know, it wasn't the same as what we agreed to. And I don't know, I don't, I don't know if it even fits her character description of who she is because she growing up was so close to her father and had that relationship.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

she is, I think throughout the whole book she was like a broken person, uh, because not only since before she was captured, her mom was murdered, so it's just her and her dad. So she's dealing with that trauma. And then after the trauma of being kidnapped and then just like dealing with all of that, losing her first, like the person that

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

loves, but also thinks that she's just trauma bonded too. Um, her whole life was changed and like I understood like the way that it's a mentality. I've even had these men, this type of mentality in trauma response, um, uh, like seasons of my life where it's just like I have to literally only do what is best for me and my life. Like,

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I think she was just in that mode for the, her whole upbringing. I really do.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

the decisions that she made. I empathize with Evan a lot though on that.'cause I was just like, oh fuck, that kind of sucks.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It really did suck. But I mean, and it just kind of shows like that shit, like that happens, like, so I could see, I could see both sides, but basically like they put the, you know, the mommy daddy of it all aside for a little bit and they decide, okay, she's like, I want to figure this case out with you. So they do some more digging on it and this, so we're kind of, say we're at 70% of the book, the last 30% was like twist and turn.

Track 1:

So they go to Reno at 60%.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. That's when

Track 1:

'cause I, I looked on my Kindle. I like wrote it all down.'cause I was curious.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so they're trying

Track 1:

They go back to Reno,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

they're trying to find out if there's any other cases that are similar to theirs. And they do find a few. So they travel

Track 1:

they find one. Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

They travel around and try to, um, have like discussions with these people. Um. Basically what they find out is there is some kind of, for lack of better words, we can say trafficking ring, right?

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

lack of better words, some type of trafficking ring slash like game that is broadcasted to an elite list of people who participate

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

an obscene amount of money. Um, and they have the option to like spectate or the option to like actually participate and rent these people. But, um, the creators, basically how it's set up is you find two people who might have something in common, might have something against each other. Um, just the type of people they are like for one, one game, it was like two prostitutes were. Who are caged. Um, and then for the characters that we meet later on in the book, it's like an old guy drug addict, and then, um, like a younger, like Catholic kid or something

Track 1:

Well, he was, he was like a penny theft.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

The kid was.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so it's, it's kinda like things like that. They pin'em against each other. They run each other. They, um, you know, the players get to choose different scenarios that they participate in. Very similar to Saul. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty similar to that.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

so they find all

Track 1:

Well, so as they're going through, yeah, as they're going, they're back in Reno and they're trying to figure their own thing out. It flips to. The point of view of this guy Grim and cdr, I think that's his name. And it's two new people in this game, and then the collector's also watching this new game. So like you find out as you're learning this, that yet this is still going on.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Like present day,

Track 1:

And, um, yeah. Yeah. And I, I just, I don't, I still don't think that was necessary.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

the end of the day, so this is what we end up with. They know that it's a game. They're trying to find who is trafficking these people. they dig deep. They dig deep. They also are trying to figure out why the fuck did my dad just drop a ball attack? Like,

Track 1:

they're like, how did we get, like, end up getting in there? Like, how did we end? Like why, why us?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So what we've, what we kind of come up

Track 1:

It's confusing.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

kind of come up with, and I don't remember, you can correct me if I'm wrong, if this is verified. this goes back a few, a few generations. So Noelle's mother was working for Evan's dad. It was presumed that they were having an affair. That's not what was happening. It was presumed that they were having an affair. Noelle's mom shows up, shot to death one day. by him, he says that it is because she was a disgruntled mistress and came and threatened him, and he shot her and didn't know that she was the one there. Whatever. I don't know. She ends up fucking shot,

Track 1:

Well, basically she takes a house made job at their place'cause they're rich. Her family was poor because she wants to make extra money to be able to surprise her husband with a trip to Hawaii for their anniversary. So he doesn't know that he's, she's taking a job there and while she's working there, she discovers something, she ends up getting killed and the the Evan's dad turns the story to be like we were having an affair. Blah, blah. She was crazy. All of this stuff and turns it on her.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

but that's what happens. So now, Noah, after. After discovering that Noelle and Evan say, okay, that's what happened to my mom. Do you think Noelle is saying, do you think my dad put you in there as revenge? Right. That's what they thought. And then

Track 1:

Yeah. No, they had that con Yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

or they said no, because how

Track 1:

I think Evan said, I think Evan said that, and she was like, my father would never do that.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

kind of work through it Here I have it right here.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

do that. He wouldn't. She turned away. Are you sure? Evan asked. Um, my father ruined his life. You even said it yourself. What better way to get back at him than have his son murdered? Hold on, let me see. I'm almost there. Almost there. But your father wouldn't even know. She said you'd just go missing and he would wonder where you were.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

And then she said like, they kind of both realized something. And then she said, unless your father, dot, dot, dot, her voice was a mere whisper. And then Evan says, unless my father is one of the men who watched Evan said his voice breaking on the last word. So they're realizing like, okay, maybe my dad did send you in there because he knew that your

Track 1:

Your dad would be watching.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

and if you were a contestant in the game, he would see you in the game because he watched. So

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I was like, oh my God. So that was kind of where things started picking back up for me. Um, and they figure

Track 1:

So,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

kind of like exactly what happened.

Track 1:

yeah, so if you, you wanna just run through like what we find out at the end?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Let me, hold on. I have one more thing. I don't think so. You seemed to know about my hand. Uh, are you thinking? I don't know. But maybe he didn't call the police'cause he knew the rules. He knew once we got out of there. We were free, Betts were paid, the cleanup crew went to work, we won, and no one would come after us. So that's kind of like, so that's when they kind of figure out like, okay, Evan's dad is a participant in this game.

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um,

Track 1:

There's even a moment when he's like, my dad didn't even ask what was wrong with my hand. He just automatically said, we'll, find a plastic surgeon.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

know about my hand. He told me he'd get a surgeon. How did he know it wasn't burned or just needed a cast?

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

So he saw him, he saw him on the game,

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

kind of

Track 1:

So what we, what ended up happening was, um, the mother when she was working there catches Evan's father basically jerking off to this, this program. That is people being captured and like song body parts off. And she takes pictures. Well, she took one picture and she like went home and then came back and took more pictures. And so when she went back, he catches her and that's when he kills her to like keep her quiet. And then that whole story of, oh, we were having affairs to cover his own ass. The dad, she like hid these pictures in a cutout book. And when the dad was going through stuff, per, no, actually, yeah, when the dad was just going through stuff, he finds this, all these photographs of this. And that's when this plan kind of goes of like, you basically, for lack of better word shit on my wife's name, just to protect yourself. Like I'm gonna get back at you. He enacts like a friend who's a hacker to hack the, the program. The game to put Evan's name on the list. So he like puts Evan's name in the location to be kidnapped. And that happens and he gets in there and the dad like, sees Evan on the screen and he calls the game runners and they're like, we can't do anything. We're gonna look like idiots if we're just like, sorry this was a mistake, but we'll let you choose the other person he gets to be with. And so he, that's when he chooses Noel to join her. And then, um,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Damn

Track 1:

I think, I think under the presumption that he would like not wanna save Noel, that his son would not want to save Noelle and like he would save himself and also to get back at the father. And so then when the father finds out that Noelle went in there or got sent in there, he has a heart attack because he kind of has caused all of this shit.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It's so crazy like when I did like this book, but like I didn't really, like, I liked it in the beginning and then I liked it at the end.

Track 1:

I liked that. Right. So then at the end, it just kind of like took a left turn for me and I was like, I'm kind of lost

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it

Track 1:

because the,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

a left turn, a U-turn. Um, it stopped at four bus stations. It did a lot. The

Track 1:

yeah.'cause then like the therapist, we find out, the father's therapist was also Evan's therapist, who was also the professor at Stanford. And he gets involved at the end and they go to his house and he's like waiting for them with this program of Graham and Ciro on the, on the camera. And it's like the final act and he tells them everything and then it comes until like. Evan's father comes from a diamond dynasty in Belgium,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It was a

Track 1:

and the therapist was from the Ruby Dynasty in Belgium. And basically there was like a massacre. And Evan's father killed the therapist's twin sister.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

bro.

Track 1:

And now this is just like a revenge plot. That's why he, he has always been involved in this as a collector to like help people. And then he realized it was Evan and he wanted to get back at the father.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, so the therapist is the collector,

Track 1:

Yeah. And so then like he tells'em all this shit when they're in the, in the therapist office and they turn to look at the program.'cause the program, the final act is starting and they turn back. Therapist is fucking gone. And then. It changes like 20 minutes later and he's there like killing everybody in this room that we were describing earlier. That's like squid games and there's women in cages above, hanging above them naked

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It's like,

Track 1:

and,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

dancers. Like

Track 1:

yeah. So then he like poisons him and the, and Evan's father's there. He gets poisoned and killed and, um, see j Rim, like they escape.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

He adopts him.

Track 1:

He adopted him. It was just like the whole diamond and ruby and like dynasties and like that backstory. It does not need to be there

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Well, it didn't need to be, uh, it was fine that it was there, but like there was too many themes going on like that. Like it was just like, because it was only for

Track 1:

too much.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It was

Track 1:

It was too much.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

It was a lot Robin. That was a

Track 1:

And like the therapist committed suicide at the end. What does he say when he dies?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

to

Track 1:

Oh, he says his sister's name. Celeste. Yeah. Then like, and then the police like come into the therapist's office and is like, they're, and Evan's recording the screen.'cause he is like, I'm gonna finally have proof. And then it's like, it fast forward like two weeks or whatever, Evan stayed to like close everything up with the case and she went back to South Carolina to be with her daughter. And they're like, yeah, let's, let's, he's like, I want to be there when you tell her. And he's like, yeah, okay. And it like ends like, we don't even get to see like

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

know.

Track 1:

their kid like that he's the father. And like, you know, he's like, oh, I think there need there, there could be some PI work in South Carolina. So, you know, he moves there.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

He

Track 1:

But it was just like, I don't know, I did not like the ending. It was like, I loved, I liked the beginning. It was almost for me. If you're gonna do this type of theme for me, like just go hard to the paint and like fucking do it. Like do the whole human trafficking thing. Do the whole dark shit, do the, like, how people can be, you know, run and angered by revenge and by like, protecting an image. Like go hard to the paint. But like, don't bring in all these tropes in these cliches. Like, no offense, the daughter didn't need to be a thing.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

didn't need to be a thing. I don't even think

Track 1:

The therapist didn't need to be a thing.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Um, the boss in the wheelchair didn't need to be a thing.

Track 1:

The like, jeweler didn't need to be a thing.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

be a thing.

Track 1:

It was just like so much, and

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

of it. It was very little romance. Oh, the, um, the mistress didn't need to be a thing. Who was it? The aria lady

Track 1:

Yeah, the, well, she was, she was at the police station. She was helping him get information,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

have only been that

Track 1:

but like. Go do, like, do the romance thing, but like highlight the trauma bonding and the PTSD of just being with the hu like being like that whole like progression of relationship.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

interesting to you, read it. I don't wanna say not read it. I did like it read Still beating, still beating does it so much better because it focuses only on the love and the trauma bonding of a relationship.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

start off, it starts off with a building of the character. So like, before they even get kidnapped,

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

get to know the characters semi deeply and then

Track 1:

Yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

kidnapped and then we see what they go through while they're kidnapped and then they escape. And then the rest of the book is about their

Track 1:

yeah, yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

and the, and the um, like life that they have to kind of.

Track 1:

What. What I was saying online was a lot of people were saying, well, a lot of people didn't like it because you're instantly thrown in. And there was, there's not a trigger warning involved in this book, which there should be. And so a lot of people like instantly stopped reading because of it. But a lot of people also said like, because you jump into it, it's like you don't even know, you don't have time to get to know the characters or there's not enough like character development in the beginning to be able to like clutch onto someone. And I think, and I'm gonna go back to it, I think the main reason is because it's third person omniscient and we're jumping around so often, especially in the beginning, you're like, I can't like sit with somebody for a few minutes and figure it out. But

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I don't know.

Track 1:

it wasn't horrible. I mean, it still kept me, I know I always come on here and shit on books and I'm like, it was okay. Like I gave it a 3.7.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

read a book that I was like absolutely obsessed with in a long time, outside of my.

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

books.'cause those are like a whole nother level and I love

Track 1:

The last book I read that I was like really excited to read was Fourth Wing, like even Iron Flame didn't do it for me. But

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

think I give it a four.

Track 1:

I mean, I think that's like, that's, it wasn't like it was bad. I just wish it would've been better.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah.

Track 1:

I just had higher expectations for it.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Hold on. Yeah, I mean I didn't, I didn't not like it. I liked it. There was, I liked the twists and turns. It still gave you that, like, throughout the book, but reflecting back it was a lot, it was kind of all over the place. Um, some things weren't really left on. I, I would've, you said, if you're gonna do like a love trope, like a family thing, like I want some, some ties on that, like some loose strings

Track 1:

want some realism to it? Yeah, I, I, yeah. I think it's just she left all the doors open to like create suspense and like who did it, who's behind it, and it just created more of a confusion and like. You have to have some degree of like certainty while reading a book.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1:

have to be able to like hold onto something and that was hard to like find that thing I think.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I've had like a lot of, yeah. I don't know. Like I just said, like I haven't really read something that like I've really enjoyed in a long time. I think I'm gonna start rereading some books. I'm gonna

Track 1:

Yeah.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

think I'm gonna reread Magnolia Parks. It's one of my all time favorite books.

Track 1:

I need to read that one. I haven't read that one.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

think I'm gonna reread her. know, I just wanna feel something and that's why I started reading the ritual the other day because I

Track 1:

Yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I just wanna feel something. And the Yeah, it's doing the job.

Track 1:

I was gonna say, do you feel something with that?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it's really

Track 1:

Well, well hopefully our next book, big Swiss does that for us.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah, a big Swiss I've, I've been wanting to read Big Swiss, so I'm excited to read that.

Track 1:

Big Swiss by Jen, be.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Isn't that an interesting cover?

Track 1:

Yeah. I don't know if I like it. I love the color palette, but I don't know if I like the,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it's cute. Yeah,

Track 1:

this supposed to be like a comedy,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

I think so. I mean, I think it's

Track 1:

something like that?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

it's gonna be, I think

Track 1:

Or like satirical?

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

something like that. I don't really know. I've heard good things about it.

Track 1:

Hilarious. It says on here Rib Tickling. Funny. Sad. Oh, lovely. Scathingly Funny Entertainment Weekly said that. So hopefully it's funny. Maybe we'll like that one. All right.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

use something funny. I think I.

Track 1:

Fuck. I'm gonna go take an edible. It's been that day.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

that sounds like a great idea. I'm gonna stress clean. I've read, read like 150 pages of whatever court I'm on right now of

Track 1:

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

series. I love it so much.

Track 1:

All right guys. Well, um, next week we're like we said, we're doing big Swiss tune into that. Thank you so much for listening. You follow us on Instagram at my sister made me read it podcast. Amy is Amy Preti. I am Abby Preti, Instagram. All that info is down below and our show notes, there's some other. Little things on there, like our good read accounts and stuff like that. If you wanna follow us there, please rate us on our, on any platform you're reading. We'd love to rate, would love to see what you rated this book. Love to see what you thought about this book. Um, yeah,

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Yeah,

Track 1:

that's about it.

squadcaster-aaf7_3_01-25-2024_155128:

Okay. Bye. I.

Track 1:

All right, see you later.

People on this episode

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Abby Preteroti

Co-host
Head Shot

Amy Preteroti

Co-host

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