My Sister Made Me Read It
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Join twenty-something year old sisters, Amy and Abby, each week as they dive into a chosen book to chaotically rant about swoon-worthy characters, characters they can’t stand, and worlds they can’t get their mind off of.
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My Sister Made Me Read It
SISTER, MAIDEN, MONSTER Review and A New Conspiracy Theory?
It’s Amy’s Week!
On this episode of the My Sister Made Me Read It podcast, it’s Amy’s week to choose what book we read, and she’s decided on the Body Gore and Horror Fiction SISTER, MAIDEN, MONSTER by Lucy Snyder. (22:05:1)
But before they dive in, the sisters dive into what they’ve been up to including a run in with a SISTER, MAIDEN, MONSTER fan in the nail salon, a broken TV, and the new season of Love is Blind. Not to mention a new conspiracy theory Abby heard of and that weirdly connects to this book??
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Credit for Intro and Outro music: This That Shizznit by Beat Mekanik, Free Music Archive, CC BY
But I, um, yeah, I've been hyper fixating on my teeth. I think ever since I stopped drinking, I've been finding ways to, like, keep myself busy. Because when you stop drinking, like, I feel like people don't talk about this enough. When you stop something, like, that literally consumed your entire life, like alcohol did for me,
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:you find, like, you have so much time during the day.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:more fucking time. Like, I feel like that was something like, was like, holy shit, like I didn't realize I had so much time. Like, cause most of my time was either spent drinking or hungover from drinking.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So when you eliminate all of that, it's like you have so much fucking time. So I've had to like hyperfixate on a lot of things, which reading obviously became like a big hyperfixation to spend my time. But And I've always been like this, like, even like with my bodybuilding and stuff, like I get like obsessive with habits.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:That's why alcohol was bad for me, because I have like an addictive personality.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:But I have like hyper fixated on my fucking teeth. So much. Like I have like such a fucking, like, detailed morning and night time routine. And John literally said to me the other day, he was like, He knows that I get like that, like, especially like my anxiety kind of, um, as like hyper fixations on things.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:was like, are you doing okay? And I was like, and he was like, I just think you're stressed out. Like your anxiety seems high. And I was like, why? He was like, I saw you flossing twice last week, like at work. And I was like, yeah, I am kind of stressed and I am hyper fixated on my teeth right now. He's like, yeah, I know like shit, but yeah, they do look really white on the camera.
Track 1:Yeah, I remember when we were visiting you that you were, uh, telling us how you're tongue scraping.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Well, I've always tongue scraped. Don't get it
Track 1:I'm, like, thinking about starting that.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:have to. I can't believe. Anybody who tells me they don't tongue scrape, I know your breath smells
Track 1:I do everything else. I, like, floss and I do mouthwash twice a week and, like, I don't know, I feel like that's even extra for some people.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:That's unbelievable. You gotta tongue scrape. Get one off Amazon. You can get it like a two pack. You and Jose.
Track 1:Yeah. Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah. No, I started oil pulling.
Track 1:Oil pulling's weird.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It's amazing. It's the best thing ever.
Track 1:I don't think I could do that.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:You can do it.
Track 1:No, I think that would gross me out. No, I'm good.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It's funny because Megan said the other day that like, nothing makes her gag more than like, well, when she brushes her teeth, nothing makes her gag more than tongue scraping. And she's like, when I like brush my tongue, like it's not bad. But when I tongue scrape, she's like, I'm literally like dry heaving. And I was like, dude, nothing is worse than. pulling like first thing in the morning and then tongue scraping because you're already like wanting to gag after you oil
Track 1:That's horrible. That's torture.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:No, it's not for a clean mouth, I'll do it.
Track 1:My mouth's plenty clean.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay, anyways, um, you want to intro us?
Track 1:Yes, um, welcome back guys to my sister made me read it podcast. Uh, today we're getting into A book review that Amy chose
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Mm
Track 1:called Sister Maid and Monster by Lucy Schneider. Is it Schneider or Snyder?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I think it's Snyder.
Track 1:I think it's Snyder.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah.
Track 1:book.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It was great.
Track 1:I have lots of thoughts.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:so excited to hear them. What else is going on before we get into the book? You wanna talk about anything?
Track 1:Uh, nothing, I mean nothing else really. Uh, Jose has a sinus infection, so just dealing with that. And then, um. It was funny because we went, I told, I said this last week on the podcast that I need to get a pedicure. And so I was like, um, I'm going to go this weekend. And it just got pushed to like Sunday. And Jose was like, I'll go with you. And so we ended up going together and I hadn't finished this book yet. So I was in the chair, like getting my pedicure, reading the book, trying to finish it. And a girl was in there and she was like, that's such a good book. I love that book.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:the fuck
Track 1:And I was,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:so niche.
Track 1:and I was like,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:into someone who's read it.
Track 1:know, and I was like, yeah, I was like, it's interesting. And she was like, no, I love that book. I was like, my sister's having me read it. Um, I was like, it's not usually, I was like, it's usually not what I read. And she like, started laughing. And I was like, we'll see, it's very interesting.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:She is my people. I wish I
Track 1:I thought it was funny that like, I ran into somebody. But,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:so funny.
Track 1:cause it is, it is very neat, very niche. It's very interesting. I read it like, a few articles on the author after I read it last night.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah.
Track 1:But, um.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:What
Track 1:No, I don't,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:on your toes?
Track 1:like a pearl.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Oh
Track 1:I don't, it's like pretty neutral, but it was like a, the name of it was something pearl. So it has like a, like a mermaid sheen almost. Yeah. I was like, I feel like a mermaid,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I
Track 1:but, um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:toe.
Track 1:yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Mine are black.
Track 1:like your soul.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah. Mine are
Track 1:Did mom tell you the story about how she went to get a pedicure and she wanted black recently?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I literally was on, I facetimed her while she was getting her pedicure the other day.
Track 1:Well apparently, I don't know if this was the previous one or the one before, I don't remember, but she was saying how she walked in and the lady was like, well, pick out your color. And mom said, I just want black. And the lady was like, black, like you don't want black. And mom was like, yeah, like I do. Like I've never gotten, I want to try it. And the lady was like, okay, I find you pretty black. Mom was like, okay, cool. I just want black. Like, what's, how is this going to be different? And, uh, so then apparently the lady like picked out this black and there was like a special name to it. And she was like all excited about it. And mom goes, it just looks black. She was like, it's exactly what I wanted.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Perfect.
Track 1:Yeah, I didn't know it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:and
Track 1:I didn't know what color I wanted. And then it was busy yesterday and another girl was like, oh, I just want white. And I was like, I've never gotten white. I was like, maybe I should do that and then I started looking and I was like, i'll do this pearl one
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I
Track 1:But
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:usually like, I love a French tip toe, but
Track 1:yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:just do like a, either white if it's warm out, and black if it's dark out, or cold out. Or like, I like like a dark cherry red,
Track 1:yeah I usually do like a dark cherry red or like a dark mauve or like berry like darker berry color
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I do like a pink toe too,
Track 1:but
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:it.
Track 1:I usually do French on my, like, fingers. If I get, like, my fingers done, it's usually French. But, um, yeah, that was funny. Nothing else. Um, I heard a conspiracy theory, and it kind of connected to this book, so I thought I would tell you.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Ooh.
Track 1:you heard this conspiracy theory, um, that I'm trying to think how to say this correctly. The bottom, that octopus are aliens
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay.
Track 1:and that the bottom of the sea floor is really the top of the earth.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:No, but that makes my brain hurt.
Track 1:Yeah, right? I was in bed the other night. I heard it and so I was in bed the other night when Jose and I were talking about it and I was like,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:if the
Track 1:I was like, I can't, like, my mind can't think of this. Like, I can't imagine it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:to me at all.
Track 1:Yeah, he was like what he was like, it doesn't it makes sense to me and I was like, well I'm stupid because it doesn't make sense to me.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:That literally I, it's, you know what? Some things I just don't have capacity for, and that's one of them. And I think I'm just going to, you know what?
Track 1:I had never heard that one
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:love it. I love
Track 1:I never heard that
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I, yeah, there's
Track 1:like we're like we're like upside down then.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, I could vomit. Can we stop talking about this?
Track 1:Yeah Have you been um, have you been watching have you been watching the new love is blind?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:No, I don't watch TV. It's like so hard. I literally, yesterday, I honestly, honestly God, I don't fucking watch TV. The only reason I use my TVs now is for my I turn on like my fireplace when I read, but yesterday, so I had I do this every fucking Sunday. I, so Sunday's usually like my only day to do things. Cause the, um, I have one day off during the week usually, but Sunday is like the day that the restaurants close, so everybody's off. So we usually always do something social on Sunday. Which I, I wanna do, cause I'm a social person. I wanna like hang out with my friends and shit. But I always overbook myself on Sunday. Always. Never fucking fails. So yesterday, let me just take you through my itinerary yesterday. I get home from work, Saturday, busiest night we've had all fucking year. Busiest night we've had all fucking year on Saturday. It was a crazy busy. We did almost 20 grand on Saturday and which is pretty high Got home Saturday was dead exhausted passed out by like 3 30 and I Got up at the butt crack of dawn with the dogs per usual and me and Melanie had plans to go to the bookstore So I was like we have to go to the bookstore super early Cause I had like things that I had to get done the whole day. So we go to Barnes and Noble by 10 AM. We were there. Um, and then we do coffee and then we do a little bit of shopping. I was like, I have to be home from one to four cause I told, um. guy that I work with that I would be home during those times because he was going to come mount my TVs So once I got home at like 1 30, he texted me and at 2 He was at the house mounting the TVs and then I had plans to be with to go to dinner with Megan and Bailey Yesterday, but we got super hungry super early. So we got ready to go to dinner. We're at dinner by 4 30 We had dinner, and then we went and got ice cream, and then I was waiting on my friend Alex to text me to come over to her house. Because I needed her to touch up my hair, because I needed, I like, wanted my hair a little bit shorter in the front. So then I went to her house last night, and she cut my hair shorter, and then I, when I was leaving her house, I wanted to go to the store to get, um, Uh, my non alcoholic beer. And I went to two fucking stores and they were both closed. So I was like, you know what, I think this is a sign I'm done
Track 1:It's a design. Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:need to go home.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:got my TV's mount Back to my TV's. My TV's are now mounted.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So when I was waiting on Megan to get to the house yesterday for dinner, I was just like, and I don't have any furniture still. So it's hard to like settle and watch TV.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So I was just like sitting in this one chair that I have in the living room. And I was like, I'm just going to turn on love is blind. So I like turned it on to start it. Cause everyone's been talking about it. And Alex told me like, it's actually a really good season and it's here in Charlotte.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So she, um, I was like, fuck, okay. I do want to watch it. So I turned it on and I started it and I maybe watched 15 minutes of it. Like literally they hadn't even entered the pods yet. And the
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:driving me fucking nuts. can't sit down for 10 minutes without them needing something. It's crazy.
Track 1:It's like having children.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:and then, so I just like put them outside. And then by that time, Megan got there and we left. So I want to watch it. But
Track 1:It's a good season.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:my couch gets here on Thursday, so once I settle in with that, maybe I'll watch some TV.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And then I
Track 1:Mom
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:last night, sorry, I go
Track 1:No you're good. Mhm. Mhm. Hm. First world problems. What
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:that's a Roku TV already, and then my little TV in my bedroom, I have a Roku stick. My Roku, my Roku stick stopped working. So I had to order one on Amazon last night. So now I don't have, I can't even watch TV in my bedroom if I wanted to until my Roku stick gets here. Mm hmm.
Track 1:is it? First world problems.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:so, but anyways, enough about me.
Track 1:No, uh, mom got me hooked on it because
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:literally,
Track 1:it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I was texting mom. Probably last week, just like fire, firing off, like, do you like this couch? Do you like this couch cover? Would this rug look good? Cause you know, mom's like good with shit like that
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:design and stuff. So I like wanted her like, not her approval, but I wanted her to be like, yeah, that
Track 1:Input.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:That's going to work.
Track 1:Mhm. Which
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And then probably an hour later, I get a text from her and I'm thinking, Oh cool. She looked at everything. Literally no response to anything I sent her. She just said, love is blind is in Charlotte. I was like, thanks. Help me! like, okay, do you like the rug? No response.
Track 1:is crazy.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:could give a fuck about my living room and just was like, so concerned. She just like, had to let me know they were in Charlotte. I was like,
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:can you look at the above messages, please?
Track 1:Yeah. She was like, so you know, have you watched Love is Mine before?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah.
Track 1:So, you know, like the third, the third thing is like, they go and live in like the real world.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah.
Track 1:So they're staying in these townhomes in Charlotte and mom's like, Amy, should look at these such nice downhomes. And I was like, she was like,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:a house.
Track 1:she told me she was like, they look, they look so close to her work. And so I'm watching it and I'm like, how the fuck did she think this was close to her work? Like, it doesn't show you like any, like. It doesn't show, like, any, like, closeness to the downtown city. It might be.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Let's google it. Where is townhomes
Track 1:It's, like, blue something.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:blue
Track 1:Townho Blue I don't know if it's blue line.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:are town? homes in love is blind We'll see Blue south townhomes. Oh,
Track 1:Blue south.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:bitch in bro
Track 1:Pineville?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:You know where that's not in the city at all. You remember where I lived. Um And over like when I lived far away over in valentine
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:That's fucking Pineville, close to Pineville.
Track 1:Oh.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:like 35
Track 1:Yeah, it didn't It didn't look like it was, like, like, when it showed the overview of the townhomes, it was like they were still in construction almost. Like, they were, like, brand new builds.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:like right here.
Track 1:I can't really see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay, let's see. They went to Goodyear House. That's where I tried to take you. I love Goodyear House. Queen Park Social is great. Lost and Found, of course they fucking went to Lost and Found.
Track 1:Oh my gosh, there's a whole scandal about Lost and Found.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:where he cheated on somebody. Which, don't ever go to Lost and Found. the
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Charlotte.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:good happens. I was drugged at Lost and Found. I met my crazy ex at Lost and Found. Like,
Track 1:to say, didn't your ex work at Lost and Found?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah, that's
Track 1:That's what I was telling Jose. I was like, I think he worked there.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yep.
Track 1:I was like, that's how I knew they were in Charlotte because I heard Lost and Found and I was like, they're in Charlotte? Like I like automatically knew.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:how much time I've spent at fucking lost and found because my ex worked there. Like literally I would leave my job. just hate, I hate that that was my life.
Track 1:Yeah. Is
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:at two in the fucking morning and go to his job and then cause like they would like down at two. We'd close down at one. They would close down at two. So I'd have like an hour. With him at work at his job and then like i'd wait for him to get off work till like four in the fucking morning Horrible, korean city. They went to queen city grounds. That's where I had my first date from my first hinge date um,
Track 1:us? Is that where we went?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:No,
Track 1:No.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:cafe.
Track 1:No, the, the shopping center. No, that was something else. Never mind, continue.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:ethereum mall Um rosie's wine garden that is right by my old house Oh my god, do you remember? They went to a lot of fucking places.
Track 1:Yeah, I was about to say, you would probably like watching it because you would recognize everywhere.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:do you remember when it was a few episodes ago that me and you were on here and I was talking about, um, my day with the girls when I, like we went out and then I decided like I'm not in the headspace. I need to go home.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And we went to one place. Megan was like, here we're at the Royal Tot. And I pulled, she was like, I can't stand in here. It smells like shit.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:That's royal dot. They went there.
Track 1:Oh.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:She was like, I mean, I literally can't stay in here. Bailey ordered a drink, but I'm leaving. It smells like a turd.
Track 1:No, it's a good, it's a pretty good season. I saw something last night that like majority of the cast are Virgos and so that's why it's so chaotic. Yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:God. I love, you know, I fucking love Virgos.
Track 1:but like it's so funny cuz like so I I was like, to make a long story short, last year when we went and visited mom, the, that season had just premiered. And mom was like, do you want to watch it? And we were like, yeah, sure, play whatever you're playing. And we got hooked. So then,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Of
Track 1:yeah, but like, we came home and we finished it. Jose and I finished it. So this year comes around and the new season's coming out. And I'm like, I don't know if I want to get hooked on a show again. And, um, I just didn't have anything to watch. And, I was like, Jose, do you want to watch? And he was like, not really. And I was like, okay, cool. I'm going to start this. Like you're doing something else. I'm going to start it. And I start watching it and he gets sucked in. So we ended up both watching it. And it's like, I mean, Jose and I are 27 and 25. Like, I guess we still are pretty young. These people are like in their thirties, like late twenties. And like, we were watching it and we were like, what is going on in these people's minds?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I don't know.
Track 1:Like what the heck?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:crazy, bro. I'm telling y'all when I
Track 1:There are some
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:is so fucked. This is like that. If that's just like a glimpse into what like. It is here. I'm telling you.
Track 1:It's horrible.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:thank
Track 1:It's we were just like we were talking about it last night. We were laughing the other night just like Like what the fuck like there's this one couple That end up coupling up and he doesn't want to have sex with her because she's not on birth control and he doesn't want to wear a condom because he says like Something could happen in a split second and like basically saying like the condom can break Something could happen to the condom and we would still get pregnant and like it's like so then he's like Looking into vasectomies. It's just like a whole thing and he's 28 years old and I'm like you're 28 years old And you don't know anything about this stuff You're just like you just fall back on the fact that women have to be on birth control Like I was like we're just laughing about like what the fuck is wrong with these like my age I would kind of get it like if you're 25 and you're dealing with that I kind of understand it, but the girl doesn't want to be on birth control for Solid reasons.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I've never been on birth control in my life and I've never once considered it.
Track 1:I'm on birth control and I hate it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Like, that's just a decision. A decision. A decision. A decision I've always made for myself and I've always stuck by it. I will not. I just don't feel comfortable being on birth control. I just don't want to have it.
Track 1:But and that's fine. It's just like it's just the misinformation and like Miseducation of these people of like like they are a sample size for like our country, you know, it's so funny
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:that I am engrossed in.
Track 1:Yeah, yeah, it's pretty rough
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Cause I haven't seen it obviously yet, but, um, I work in the nightlife and a lot of these people, like when you're, I mean, you have to like, think about it as like, In my brain, I think of it as like, okay, like say like Charlotte is like a high school.
Track 1:Yeah, yeah
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:are like the popular kids, like things like that. So these are like people that are like out on the town, like nightlife people, probably like known maybe like micro influencers, you know?
Track 1:Yeah
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So I haven't seen it yet. And I haven't recognized anybody, but one guy, and I don't even know his name, but my friend that I work with at the bar, she was like, I know this guy, like me and him talked for like two weeks. He's fucking crazy. And he was up at the bar like a week and a half ago. And, um, she was like, he just fucking walked in here and he was like with some girl, like not on the show. Like just like with some other girl, but it's just like, so fucking weird. She's like, these guys are fucktards. Like, I
Track 1:They're so stu it's so stupid. Yeah, you have to watch it and then we'll talk about it, cause it's just, you shake your head.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah,
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:watch it. Okay. Let's talk about Sister Maid and Monsta.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:You want to?
Track 1:Yeah, this is really interesting. Um, I don't know if you knew this because I was reading about the author after. They, this was like a collection of short stories that she then like pushed together to be a novel.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Kind of makes sense.
Track 1:So, like, I think it was the first two, like, Aaron and Savannah were two short stories and then she made Mareeva to, like, finish out the novel.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Well, I saw at the end that she has like novellas about each character
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:to kind of expand on their, on, um, like their backgrounds a little bit. this book was very strange and unhinged and I loved every fucking second of it. I don't even know how to kind of like explain what it's even about because it went in a completely different direction than I thought it was going to go.
Track 1:I will say if you are not a horror reader, if you're not a gore reader, you will probably cringe a lot. Like, if you're very religious, don't read this book. Um, yeah. There were times, like, I'm reading this in the nail salon and it's talking about, like, sucking brains and, like, how brains remind her of boogers and they describe them as gushy and I'm, like, in the middle of the nail salon and there's children all around me and I'm, like, I can't read this right here. I need to take a break, like, like I came in the other night I was reading and uh, Jose came in to ask me something and I like had like a stank face as I was reading it and he was like, are you good? And I was like, this is just disgusting.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It
Track 1:So,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It's very mild. Okay, for someone who is an extreme, like I read like some weird shit,
Track 1:yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:it's not, it's very mild, but for like a,
Track 1:for someone like me who has
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:who
Track 1:never read horror, Mareeva,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:how it's kind of like, it's, there's, there's body horror in it is like what you could call it. Um. Yeah, so what kind of pulled me into this book is the, cause I couldn't even give you a synopsis if I tried, cause it's kind of is all over the place, but like basically we focus on three main female characters. I would say probably Erin is the main character and then Savannah and, how do you say her name? Mariva are kind of her supporting characters. Wouldn't you say?
Track 1:um, I, I mean, I kind of saw them as like three standalone protagonists
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay.
Track 1:because they were separated into three different parts. It did feel like, at one point, I was like, is this three separate, like, supposed to be three separate stories? Are they ever going to connect? Mm
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:well, I knew they were going to connect somehow. Because it says, like in like the synopsis of the book itself, it says as a virus tears across the globe, dark forces pull a group of women together. So I knew it would come together somehow. But as you're reading it, like when you start, so we start with Aaron, and Aaron's little piece synopsis says, Aaron, once quiet and closeted, acquires an appetite for a woman and her brain. Why does forbidden fruit taste so good? So that's like all we know about Aaron before we start the book. When we start the book, so it starts off and we're post coronavirus, so it's basically present day.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:We're post coronavirus, which, how do you feel about books like that, that bring in the real world?
Track 1:Uh. The real world is fine. COVID, like, I couldn't really read about it for a while. I think now I'm finally starting to be able to read about it and be cool with it. Like, I remember, like, in 2021, that video, that, um, movie called, like, The Virus or something came out and people were like, it's way too soon.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah,
Track 1:Yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:but,
Track 1:now we're finally entering that, like, timeline of, yeah, we could talk about this.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah, so it's post coronavirus, Aaron is talking, we're in Aaron's POV. she's kind of like mentioning, mentioning it. Um, she comes, basically the first opening scene is a little bit about that and then she comes home from her job and she starts talking about how there's a new pandemic or new virus that's kind of spreading, very different from Corona. This one is attacking people's, um, like digestive systems. So it's basically like a stomach virus from hell is, is kind of how they describe it. so we see her come home from work, she sanitizes her hands, whatever, before going into the house. She lives with her boyfriend Gregory, um, and he basically, like, surprises her with like a nice sushi dinner, and it's their fifth anniversary, right? Five? Not, not important. Um, anniversary.
Track 1:I was like, I don't remember.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um. like all fun, woohoo. He seems very, um,
Track 1:Quirky.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:so when I first started it, I was like, this is giving, um, Stacey from Big Swiss.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Like, that type of male character.
Track 1:Yeah, valid.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:like, masculine seeming woman and very feminine seeming man.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay, so, uh, Gregory is like, so in love with Aaron, whatever, and he proposes to her at dinner. And she kind of like stops when he proposes and is like, what? Like, I didn't know we were here, but they've been dating for five years. So anyways, she's like, he basically is saying like, he doesn't, he's foreseeing this new pandemic, like becoming like an issue. And he doesn't want to be like, he wants something to look forward to because like during COVID he explains. They didn't have anything to look forward to and now what if they're like if they go through lockdown again They could plan a wedding
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:a reason to get engaged. But anyways Anyways, they get engaged she says yes, they celebrate they have sex and then they eat.
Track 1:I don't think they have sex.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yes, they do
Track 1:Okay.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, they
Track 1:Is it an abortion? I don't know.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Well, I remember that because she says that they had sex before they ate and she was glad because she ate a bunch of food
Track 1:Oh.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:she's like,
Track 1:Maybe I do remember that.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Anyways,
Track 1:I just remember she called her dad and her sister.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah. So she calls her dad and her sister after she gets engaged. As she's calling them, she's like, Oh, I'm starting to get like a migraine. So she starts feeling like a migraine behind her eyes as she calls her dad or sister or whatever. Um, after she gets engaged, just to tell them the news. And then her stomach starts kind of bubbling a little bit.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:like, damn, like, was it bad sushi? Like, it doesn't even cross her mind that she could, like, have acquired the virus.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So she goes to the bathroom and just starts like violently vomiting.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:um, Gregory comes in and is like, Oh my God, are you okay? And then like, while he comes in, she starts like vomiting. Or they had red velvet cake.
Track 1:They had red velvet cake and red wine. So at first she thought it was the wine and then she was thinking it was the cake.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So she's like, Damn, I didn't eat that much red velvet cake. But she thinks it's like the cake. And then she starts like, just like, profusely vomiting just pure blood.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:she passes out. And she passes out when she hears like, Gregory on the phone with 911.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So. We wake up, she's in the hospital, um, with doctors all around her. And once she wakes up, they kind of give her a second and then they start like doing these like really strange tests on her. So she's kind of like realizing, okay, I have this virus, but they explained to us. What is it called? PVG,
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:virus. There's different levels of it. So like different from COVID. I mean, COVID had different.
Track 1:It's kind of like cancer, how you have like different stages.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah. Yeah. But, um, I don't think it like progresses. Like you either have
Track 1:No, you even,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:five or you have type one.
Track 1:I guess more like diabetes then, yeah, like type, type 1, type 2.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So they say that she has like the, one of like the highest types and they determine that. So they say basically if you have type one, you get like a mild
Track 1:You're like asymptomatic. Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um, so then she's obviously in the hospital, so she knows she has a bad case. Um, they try to get her to start to eat things and they kind of explain to her like, hey, like this virus does such a fucking number on your system. Um, you're not, you're going to be like forever changed as far as like what you're able to eat. Your body's no longer going to be able
Track 1:We can have to eat.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So she's trying to like understand and they kind of give her information slowly, right? So when they start this test, basically what they do is they put three liquids in front of her. So they start with liquids. So they put like three liquids in front of her and she's like, what? What is this? And they explained, so there's a security guard at the door, the nurse, and then there's the doctor and the nurse kind of like. Introduces everybody and she's like why is there a fucking security guard here? Whatever Um, so she's she's like tied to the bed. She's got restraints on the bed and she's
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:They're like, it's okay It's just like part of the test like just like let us go through this and then we'll be good And she's like, okay And the nurse tells her Just slowly try these liquids and tell us how you feel, what your brain thinks, like, you know, what it tastes like, and she's like, What the fuck? Okay. Anyways,
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:she tries water and she's like, okay, it's water. And then she tries the next one and it's like apple juice or something.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And then she tries the third one and she thought it was beet juice. And when she drank it, she immediately spits it out and she realizes it's blood. And she's like, why the fuck did y'all just feed me blood? But she didn't have like a reaction.
Track 1:She thought it tasted good.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:No, she didn't. Not the blood.
Track 1:I thought she did.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:No, she said it like was like irony. And she like spit it out and she was like, what the fuck? Why'd y'all just give me blood?
Track 1:Oh.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:swishes her mouth out with the water and they're like, um, making notes and shit. And he's like, it's just part of the testing. We have to like see what your body responds to. And she's like, this is so fucking weird. But the faster I do this, the faster I'm going to get out of here.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:then they start with the solid foods. So, she has, I don't remember exactly what she had, but she had three solid foods. Anyways,
Track 1:I just remembered the mushy thing.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah, the last thing she described on her plate was like bowl of something that looked like egg whites, right?
Track 1:Yeah, I'm trying to find the
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah, find the page so we can just, so we can explain like what she, her reaction to it. Um, but the last thing
Track 1:She said might as well get the most suspect thing on the tray over with right I picked up the plastic spoon and plunged It into the mysterious mush 33 angrily put the scoop of whatever in my mouth. It's gelatinous eggy texture sent little fish Frisions of disgust down my spine. The flavor, though, I can't say that I objectively thought it was good. Savory, yes, but bitter. Imagine tofu that had transformed itself into meat without bothering to become muscle.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um,
Track 1:I liked it, though.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I liked it though, I liked it a whole lot. I liked it the way a person dying of thirst in the desert likes a cold bottle of water. Before I realized what I was doing, I dropped a spoon, lifted the bowl to my lips, and was slurping the mush out like a hungry dog. My heart was pounding like I was making a run for it across the hospital grounds. And then the fucking security guard goes, oh, backup fam, looks like we got a type 3 up in here. So, um, she said, his remark didn't really register. Days later, I would have questions and I wouldn't like the answers. Um, so then they're trying to figure out, they keep asking her some questions. Um, and then she says the bowl was empty. I'd licked it clean. I want more. I wanted a lot more, but there wasn't any. Rage at its absence rose inside me like a wave. So then she starts to get angry cause there's not more. And then we realized why the fucking security guard is there. Um, so they feed her this and then she kind of realizes like, um, okay. What does she realize? Help me out.
Track 1:Well, she feel she, um, I was just reading that. Gosh, I lost it. They're saying that she has to have brains to get, like, nutrients. And she says, Brains? I stared at him, a cold nod of horror forming in my belly. Like cow brains, right? Pork brains? He inclined his head, his eyes unreadable behind his face shield. You received diagnostic mixture of 90 percent bovine brain matter and 10 percent tissue from harvested human
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:cerebrum.
Track 1:cerebrums. And she said, Human? I see him and y'all turned me into a fucking cannibal. But, so basically he's saying like, you have to take, um, You're type 3, you have to take either, like, these nutrients, like the, these like probiotics basically, and then you also have to have like, brains.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, so it says, Miss Erin, it's not helpful to think that way. You have a condition that requires a special diet. That's all this is. But did you have to give me human brains? My voice shook. We absolutely did. She replied firmly. It was the only way to know your type for sure. The only way to know how to treat you from here on out. Um. And then she says, I want to go home and he said, we want to get you home, all of us, we just want to see you get well. So will you trust us and work with us? And she said, yeah. So now we see, okay, she's got this type, so now we're like, this is a fucking craziest disease, but that's basically what we're working with.
Track 1:Yeah. I
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay, and then it progresses, right? So she gets
Track 1:was so confused about this because it doesn't like, get, it's not like she gets better, like she's gonna be stuck with this for the rest of her life, basically. But, It's, I guess it's more controllable and she has like the information she needs to have to take care of herself so they still release her.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Wait, how does she meet? So I don't remember how she meets Betty. So then we get Betty. How does she fucking meet Betty? Hold on, let me find it. I don't remember how she met Betty. They like just run into each other in like happenstance because Oh, she was her Uber driver.
Track 1:Yeah! She was the driver that took her home.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:was the driver that took her home
Track 1:Because her, couldn't,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:couldn't pick her up. So she drives her home and when she gosh, where is it? When she sees, when Aaron sees Betty She has this like immediate attachment to her, right?
Track 1:yeah. But
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um,
Track 1:she says something like,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:highlighted a part. This is so irrelevant and side note, not relevant, but it's like kind of off topic. I liked this book. I felt like it was very, um, there was a lot of like irony in it. And like a lot of like feminism in it.
Track 1:mm hmm,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:where'd it go? Did you feel like that when you were reading it?
Track 1:yeah I felt like there's a lot of political stuff too in here. Mm
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah. Okay. So there's a part. So when you're diagnosed, you have to go through like all these different like things, right? Um, so they make you get an IUD because you can't, now you can't have kids
Track 1:hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:once you have this. So they basically are forcing her to get an IUD. Um, so they, she's going through her checkup and it's, and the doctor says to her, Um, do you have kids? And she said, no. Good. That makes everything a lot simpler. Do you have an IUD? My stomach clenched and I couldn't help twitching. I had to work hard to keep my face neutral. Um, no, Gregory and I weren't using condoms. So she wants children.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And the doctor says, you need to make an appointment to get an IUD, ASAP. And Erin thinks, oh, hell no. Um, and she talks about IUDs a little bit. then, um, said, No, thank you. I did not want an IUD. And then she says to the doctor, My boyfriend moved out. I'm going to be by myself. you just told me I can't have new sex partners. So I don't see why I need one. And then she says, Are you new to being a woman? The world is just bursting with psychos. Some maniac could break into your apartment and rape you. A pregnancy would be a hell of a complication. I hear the virus is turning embryos into cancer. Getting an IUD is just common sense, honey. And she goes, couldn't I get an abortion? And then the doctor says, that's still legal in this, in this state. Um, and she goes, seriously, they're not making an exception. And then the doctor says, I think your doctor can still get you a plan B. I think morning after pills are still legal here. And then Erin goes, um, I guess you're advising men to get vasectomies. And the doctor goes, why would we do that?
Track 1:Yeah. No, that was definitely politically, uh, fueled.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:fuck? I love that part.
Track 1:Well, that's like what's going on with Alabama right now, but.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:but anyway, so she meets fuck I keep like I literally just had it.
Track 1:She meets Betty on page 66.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Thank you
Track 1:Um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So betty's a driver she realizes, um, I fucking am
Track 1:well she says
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:book again. I had I literally was
Track 1:On page,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:it
Track 1:on page 66, Betty gets out of the car and she says, Erin says, I stood frozen staring at her hair, flashing back on the reoccurring nightmare I had in the hospital. This woman was a stranger, but I was sure she looked just like the woman in the dream who had pulled me free from the tar pit, the one who pushed me through the motel door. So, like, she sees this lady and it's the lady who was in her dream before, but she had never seen this lady previous to, like, this moment.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Mm hmm.
Track 1:And then, um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:have like this attraction. She goes home. Um And then she gets like a knock on her door and betty basically leaves her like a uh a prepaid cell phone so they can like text so I guess betty like felt the same type attraction
Track 1:mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:They start seeing each other And betty tells her Like, that she has the virus too, so like, and they're not supposed to, like, if you have the virus, you're not supposed to, like, see other people, because it's highly contagious. You're like, not supposed to have sex with other people, because it's contagious and can mutate. Um,
Track 1:I, yeah, I think they just don't know what happened. Like, she says, um, was I reacting to her like this because she was a two? Was this the reason we were forgetting, forbidden from getting with the other? Other types, good lord. Maybe it wasn't about mutations so much as the possibility of horrifying bloodbath orgies. Couldn't really blame Homeland Security for wanting to nip that in the bud.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah. So, they can't fuck, but, um, they want to, so they, like, meet up, like, a secret location. And this is where things started getting strange to me.
Track 1:I thought this was just gonna be like a lesbian, like, situation, like, uh, you know, the classic, Erin had these, like, thoughts and now Gregory's kind of out of the way and this lady already has it, so she's gonna
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:anyways, like Aaron's a lesbian, like we'd been known that.
Track 1:Yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um,
Track 1:took a turn.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:but yeah, this is where shit got weird, and I was like, where the fuck is this book going?
Track 1:Let me see.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:page is it on? I'm gonna try this one more time.
Track 1:I'm gonna try to find it. Hold on. Um, when she gets the android, it's on 73,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, I've got that part.
Track 1:um, then she feels guilty so then she asks Gregory for, well she doesn't really ask,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:She tells
Track 1:like turns it and tells Gregory that they should have it open.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:an open relationship.
Track 1:is when they meet up. Um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah,
Track 1:or I guess page 86.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay, here we go. It's 93.
Track 1:snacktastic.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It's 93.
Track 1:93?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah, so they start like fooling around in this car, right?
Track 1:Oh, and they, yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:normal, know, all that shit. So then she says, um, suddenly a sharp, jarring pain, a razor cut an inch below my areola, Betty latched onto the wound sucking hard, so they're fooling around. And then this bitch pulls out a knife and
Track 1:Sorry, sucking her blood.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:and starts sucking on it and. Um, Aaron's like, what are you doing? And whatever, she finds that she actually liked it.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay, and then, ba ba ba ba, she said my breast was okay, sore, but okay. This is like after they like fucked around.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:the cut she made with a razor blade got a little inflamed, but it wasn't anything Neosporin couldn't handle. So, two days after that, my tongue began its gradual transformation. At first, I thought the raw pits on my tongue were strange canker sores, but when the tiny teeth started growing in, I knew something much more profound was happening. I've re read that sentence 14 times. was like, am I reading this right? What the fuck is she
Track 1:I can't, I couldn't like imagine what it looked like.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So she basically is starting to grow, her tongue is starting to grow teeth.
Track 1:Like how you can get a hairy tongue. That's how I imagined it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Sure. Okay, so then we get a small excerpt, just summarize it. So, at first she goes, I thought meeting Betty was Gregory's fault for karma. She thought she was going to have karma, she was having karma. Later, I decided our meeting was just a coincidence. Random coincidences that somehow counteracted the Okay, that was a really hard sentence. Anyways, continuing on. Um, Not completely impossible, but very improbable. And then she says, but now I accept that meeting Betty was predestined. A cosmic in available bleh bleh bleh.
Track 1:in betel.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:For reading so much shit, me and you are dumb.
Track 1:uses a lot of big words in this.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um. It
Track 1:It was my first proof.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:gods do exist, my first proof that these gods do have a plan for us all, even if the Bible wielding man, men, Gregory, escaped, had it all wrong. And that proof, it disrupted all the patterns. So this is where we start getting biblical, at chapter 10, is where the biblical stuff comes in.
Track 1:Yeah, I think that's like, but I think that, like, little excerpt kind of stands for the whole book. Like, that's what I say in the beginning, like, if you're super religious, you won't enjoy this book because it's very much like, um, against traditional, uh, religious practices and like, almost like the idea of like an antichrist or like, um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:was, I mean, this, this is, and I had no idea this book was going this way, but we're going to talk about the whole book, so I'm not ruining anything. This book is about the rapture.
Track 1:yeah. Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It's a full like telling of like, like what people think is going to happen with the rapture. That's exactly what is happening here. So
Track 1:I didn't imagine the gods were like Jesus Christ,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:she literally says Jesus. She says right here, at least as improbable as modern Jesus. And she mentions the Bible. She's talking about Jesus. She's talking about traditional Christian Jesus, bitch.
Track 1:I guess I just didn't pick that up
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Because then like we, so then as it progresses. So, you don't realize that it's going towards the Rapture until like a few chapters after this. But, condition is progressing and progressing and progressing. And, well, there's some body horror with her and Betty. Like, they figure out how to like, fucking take her head off. Did you see that?
Track 1:Yeah Yeah, of course I read it. I read the whole book.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:They
Track 1:I think
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:remove Betty's fucking skull. And like, she like sits in front of and they like,
Track 1:she uses her teeth covered tongue and sucks it up like it's like a fucking smoothie
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:yeah, but not her actual brain. Just like the goo that's
Track 1:the goo around the brain
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:We don't have to talk about it, but anyways, that's basically how they get off, I guess. But
Track 1:I'm so stuck on this Jesus thing because I guess I imagined it was like Uh, like how people can be agnostic, how you believe that there's a God, but you don't believe in like the traditional Jesus Christ and God and the Holy Spirit idea. So I figured like, that wasn't Jesus Christ, that was who the actual gods are. Does that make sense? Oh, well.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:this is, I was so, and this could just be me, but like, I just. quickly was like, Oh, I
Track 1:I mean it
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:thought someone was just behind me, bitch. My heat kicked on and I thought someone was walking in my house. Okay. I, so early on was like, okay, this is about the rapture. I think that's just like my, I couldn't think of any other, um,
Track 1:yeah, I thought that but I also thought like maybe this is just like the apocalypse.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um, so where are we as this progresses? We see we get introduced to who do we get introduced to first?
Track 1:Like, the next main character you're talking about?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, so
Track 1:Aaron. Well, there's like mention of Mareeva in Aaron's, um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:story
Track 1:story. So, I knew it was gonna come back. But then the next main person you're introduced to is Savannah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I'm trying to find where the part where it goes to like part of here. Okay. Okay, so this is what happened. So we're still in Erin's story and basically things progress with Erin. She goes back to work,
Track 1:Crazy.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:she has to work like the night shift because sunlight, her condition is like, she's super sensitive to the sun and it'll cause like her body's just like a incubator for cancer.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So she can't be in the sun or else she'll like develop like cancer rapidly. So she's like covered in like fucking hoodies and shit and she has to work like the night shift at work now so she can't be in any light she starts to develop this like hump on her back
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:she just thinks to herself like she thinks it's just like a tumor, like a cancer tumor, right?
Track 1:Mm hmm. Mm
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:ignores it and it like rapidly grows and then one night she's sitting at work and somehow she gets fucking triggered. I don't know. And she goes, this guy, Devin is in the elevator and she like after him in the elevator. And she can't control herself. So she goes in the elevator, hold on, let me, let me read this. She goes in the elevator and Devin says, are you okay? And she tries to nod, but there's blood dripping from her mask. Um, she looks up and sees her reflection in the elevator and she like, doesn't know why she chased him in an elevator, but she did. So she's in the elevator with this guy, Devin. My body is grotesquely swollen. Um, my blouse is stretched tight over a huge carving lump that takes up most of my back. So she has like a giant humpback, right?
Track 1:hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:kind of looking at her like, what the fuck? And he goes, should I call someone? Should I call nine one one? And she goes, despite my pain and sickness, the want returns with a vengeance adrenaline rises along my blood pressure. My tongue is twitching. something in the enormous hump on my back too. Um, so she feels something on her back and she goes, Betty, I need Betty. How long has it been since I've seen her? And then, the next page says, Call 9 1 1. I try to say, but I can't take a breath. Can't speak around the tongue writhing backward down my throat. What can I do? Devin touches my shoulder. The feel of his hand against my flesh is far too much for me to bear. I rip off my mask, rise up under him, yank his mask down, grab him by the sides of his head, kiss him. My tongue goes straight down to his throat, choking him. He hits me, trying to shake off, shake me off, but as strong as he is, my want is stronger. So basically, And
Track 1:Later on,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:my
Track 1:my tongue.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And then I my tongue into his eye. Eww, I'm not reading
Track 1:The ball squirts off to the side as my organ drills deeper.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:The tiny mouths She's talking about her fucking tongue, my dude. tiny mouths rasping through the thin socket bone into his sweet frontal lobe. So she goes from his eyeball to his brain. Um, after the first wash of cerebral fluid, I'm into the creamy white meat of him. This is more beautiful than I imagined. Cuuuute.
Track 1:That is what the book says, not what Amy says.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yes. Oh,
Track 1:The way, the way you said it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I did not say that. That is not what I was thinking at all. Um, okay. So she's literally eating this person. She's sucking his brain out. And then, out of nowhere, this fucking. It's hump on her back, breaks through her skin, right, she grows wings, and she opens the top of the elevator and flies out the elevator, so this bitch is gone. So then we go to the next part, we get
Track 1:Well, hold on, it's, see, it says like, she says, Earth is ripe, human civilization at its peak. The other archivists and I will preserve the memories of the best and brightest as we devour them. We will use the blood of this world to write dark, beautiful poetry across the walls of the universe.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah,
Track 1:I just don't think that's Jesus Christ behind that.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:well I personally don't know him, so I can't say, but I, this is my idea, so, and I don't, I.
Track 1:I probably will just have to read up on it and see what she meant. Yeah. Mhm. Sure.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:um, rapture is supposed to go as planned, but, um, what I'm sensing from it is, okay, we're wiping out the population, right? And there's few chosen people who are the archivists, to me equaled the angels because you know, like in like. Like theory they say like angels actually aren't what we think they are like they're like fucking terrifying So that's what I'm thinking like these archivists are like the angels who are gonna like wiping out the population But saving like like like she said they're preserving like the good parts of people Right because when they sucked out the brains, they're Digesting like all of their thoughts and memories and we'll see that more with Savannah
Track 1:Yeah, let's just go on to Savannah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay,
Track 1:We could probably talk about that forever.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:like one of these like angels now. So that's basically what this, this virus is.
Track 1:Mhm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay, we get into Savannah. And these last two, like these, this is why I felt like Aaron was like the main character because Savannah and Mar
Track 1:Well, it takes up half the book. Almost.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:takes up half the book. Yeah,
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:two are kind of just like supporting to me. Savannah is not an archivist, but she ends up being kind of like a ringleader of them.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So
Track 1:That's a good way to put it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:until, um, we get introduced to her. She's basically a sex worker. Not basically, she is a sex worker.
Track 1:Mhm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:works for like a really, um, protected company. Like everything is really like You know,
Track 1:It's how it should be.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah. Um, like she's safe. Like she, like she's kept safe in her work and, um,
Track 1:It's not illegal.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Right. They have like ways that they're doing everything. Um, and she comes down with this virus. Does she have the virus? I
Track 1:Well,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:the virus. I think she. Cause what happens is, we get some background on Gregory, it's not important, we don't really need to know. Gregory is one of her clients.
Track 1:yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And he comes to an appointment with her. And she's like, wow Gregory, you look like shit. And he's like, I need you to help me. He now has a lump on his back. So now we see, okay, he obviously got this virus from Erin. And, um, this is kind of how their stories merge. Um, like, what do you want me to do? She kind of freezes. And he's like, kill me, kill me, kill me. Please, before it gets bad. And then, his body gets taken over. He turns into, like, an archivist. And then we hear some, some stuff from him. And he kind of, like,
Track 1:well remember the like hump on his back like burst and so blood goes everywhere
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Uh huh.
Track 1:and that's how she would initially be like, uh, infected.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Oh, that's right. Oh, here we go, here we go. So she says, so he's, he's there, right? He says, Savannah, help me. She's like, what happened to you? This is not my body. This is the becoming of God. This is not the becoming that God promised me. See, they talk about God. The other angels are massing in the hills. I can hear them. I am called to my mission, but I don't want it. So like he is like slowly turning into this like angel, but he's like still kind of has some consciousness. Um, uh, so she couldn't get out, whatever, whatever. Um, I decided it was better to try to calm him down first and then phone for help. Gregory, deep breaths buddy. Can you tell me what's happened? His expression twisted, in agony and he went into a half crouch as though he were having a back spasm. Oh god, it's happening Savannah. I didn't know where else to go. Help me. I brought a gun. Please kill me. She goes, fucking hell. then, um, a huge twisted hump on his back was spasming, shuddering. Are you still with us?
Track 1:Disgusting.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay. Um, the skin above his right scapula split with a spurt of dark blood and something amber and watery. I realized something was breaking free and clawing out of him. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, um, and then he said, the gun, please, I won't be able to stop. His voice was changing, getting deeper, stronger. Um, the air, and then she says the air stink of blood. So now she's realizing she's breathing it in, which is like how you get infected. Okay, and now he's like completely the angel. He says, I was bound, though I have not bound. He atoned, his mouth full of long, jagged teeth. I was not recognized, but I have recognized that all is being dissolved, both the earthly and the heavenly. When a soul has overcome the third power, it goes upward and sees the fourth power, which takes seven forms. The form is darkness. The second desire third, okay, whatever. That's not important. And so I asked the chosen soul wince, do you, do you come slayer of men? she's like, Greg, I don't understand. And then she said, I was suddenly remembering passages about angels in the Bible. They weren't hot dudes with dudes with halos. Like you see in Renaissance paintings, they're, they always had to tell mortal mortals fear, not because they were fucking terrifying. I was right.
Track 1:Yeah, okay.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Oh. Like a curse from God upon men, women, and children across the world, ripping their necks out and drinking their blood, tearing their skulls open with talons, or drilling into their eye sockets with grotesque bird tongues, devouring their brains, their memories, their very souls. In this vision, I turned my face to the heavens and suddenly I could hear the old gods whispering to me from their thrones in the dark spaces between the stars, follow thy nature and thou shall be rewarded. So, yeah, now we're kind of seeing what's going on in this world.
Track 1:Yeah,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:him, she wakes up, she's in Greenlawn, which is like the place
Track 1:same hospital.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um, yeah, and then she gets out, does she get out? Does she break out? She gets moved to a different place, I don't remember. Well,
Track 1:I think she gets out, she does like her 10 day quarantine and nothing happens.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:before that, she kills Gregory, and um, she liked it a lot.
Track 1:I could say that.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So now we realize What the fuck is going on with this bitch? She's got like a kink for killing people.
Track 1:She gets off on killing people.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah But that was like the first time she realized it and then we kind of go into like Details about how she's now she's like I guess like she's connected to the whole Rapture of it all and I don't know if God directly is speaking to her and telling her to kill these people But she she basically is killing off people herself and
Track 1:Well it seems like she's killing people who have like a lot of education or information. Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So she's killing people with certain specific skill sets because she is absorbing those skill sets. So she kills like doctors and um, like lawyers and people like that. And she's just like harboring all this information in her head.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:of like preparing her for her mission, I guess. Alright,
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:okay. Then told um, um, There's the Chosen One. This is where we get Maree Mareeva?
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Mareeva's story. Mareeva now we have we know Aaron. Aaron's an act an act what is it called? Archivist?
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um, Savannah is kind of like the ringleader of them. Third character, Mareeva, she is just like poor little girl who's just like drug into the middle of all of it. So they call her the Chosen One.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:now Aaron and Savannah are kind of trying to find her. Aaron knows her. Aaron worked with her. So they worked together. So then we kind of get some background. Um, her, Aaron and Mariva were kind of friends. Had like a small friendship. And then Mariva started seeing Aaron decline with her, her health. Um, and Mariva was there when the scene happened with Devin. So we see that scene from her point of view.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Um, which was interesting. And then they all had to be, I don't know if quarantine is the right word, but everybody who was there working when that happened had to be like questioned and talked to and like see what like, you know, like, what did you guys see?
Track 1:Interrogated and then they were like, uh, Yeah. Yeah. I, I might have to find it. They were, the investigator was like, Your brain makes you think irrational things when, when something happens.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:they were gaslit.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, they were definitely gaslit, um, about it. But then whatever, she's like, what the fuck? That was so weird. She's wanting to know what happened. Is her friend okay? They didn't know if Devin was dead. They didn't know if Aaron was dead. They had no idea what was happening. Anyways, they go to, she goes. She goes grocery shopping, all of a sudden at the grocery store chaos erupts. And she's like, what the fuck, everyone starts running. So she starts running. So basically these Archivists are killing all these people
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:stops in front of Mareeva they have like a moment of like recognition because even though like Aaron obviously looks like a monster now, they, they describe them as still having like human qualities.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Mareeva is like, Oh, I know her and she's like Aaron. And then all of a sudden you hear Savannah walking up. And she's yelling at Aaron like, Leave her alone. Like, I've got her. She's the chosen one. Whatever. So, and Maruvia's like, What the fuck are you talking about? Like, I have no idea what you're talking about. They basically, she's like, You gotta come with me. So, Savannah basically kidnaps her. For lack of better words.
Track 1:Yeah, that section, that dialogue was so good.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:What page is it on?
Track 1:Uh, 206, 207 is where I'm at. Is when they, she says like, chosen, chosen, why.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah,
Track 1:apocalypse, honey. Doomsday. The end of human civilization. That's what Savannah says, she pointed her machete at people running terrified across the parking lot a few dozen yards away from us. Other creatures like Aaron pursued them. That lady's gonna get harvested soon, so that, so's that guy, and the one of us slayers is just gonna put that sad loser out, over there out of everyone's misery. She's gonna die, he's gonna die, everybody's gonna die. Uh, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And
Track 1:Except you. Mhmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:you. You're not gonna die. The gods have plans for you, sugar pie. Um. And she's like, what plans? And she said, I'm not on a need to know on that yet, but it appears you won the cosmic lottery. You lucky little bunny. useful to our Eldritch Lords and masters and mysterious ways that the rest of us are not. And she goes, I'm dreaming. I'm sick in the hospital with PVG hallucinating. People said they got all kinds of crazy dreams when they get infected. And she's like, can't I just go back to my apartment? She's just like, can I just fucking go home? she's like, bad idea, I'm afraid. It's harvest season at the apartment complexes around here. It's only a matter of time before the government decides to send in the troops. Or panics entirely and decides to carpet bomb cities with heavy archivist activity. Uh, let's see.
Track 1:And she says, gotta do this the hard way, and puts a needle in her neck.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah. Yeah, so then she wakes up, she's kidnapped, yeah, and she basically like explains to her like whatever, you're like the chosen one, she's trying to escape,
Track 1:And then she finds a lump in her breast.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:finds a lump in her breast, and she doesn't want to tell, um, she doesn't want to tell Savannah that she has a lump in her breast. Hold on, let's see. She tries to call for help, but that obviously doesn't go well.
Track 1:They do like an ultrasound.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:like calls for help, right, because she ends up getting her cell phone and she calls the investigator that, um,
Track 1:Helped him out the day where Aaron,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:shit, right? And she, they come to the house and then Savannah's like, what the fuck would you do? So Savannah just quickly kills everybody. And it's like, you're literally making my job so much harder.
Track 1:No, remember? She was like, um, Mariva was like, you wanted me to do that. And she was like, yeah, of course. Why would I let you keep your phone?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:she
Track 1:Like we needed, we needed something.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:call. You planned for this to happen. And Savannah goes, of course I did, Sugar Pie. You sure should think I'd let you have your phone if I didn't. I wanted to know what the local authorities are planning. Oh, so they came and she sucked all the memory, she got their
Track 1:Yeah. Yeah. And then they got like food too. For like a few months. Yes.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:at her and says, you're a monster. Savannah said, I'm just doing my job, doing our lord's work. Holla fuckin Louya. I like Savannah, she's funny. She said, while I'm more than happy to share with you what I've learned about butchery and meat cutting, I'm guessing you don't want to see what I'm about to do, so this is where you should go inside and watch more TV. back towards the door, I hate you. Oh, you'll learn to love me. No, don't go running off while I'm busy with this, it's cold out and I don't want you getting sick. Well, you won't be able to see the archivists in the woods, they'll be able to see you. Um, Savannah pulls out a knife with a sho out a knife with a sharp hooked notch on its spine and starts humming, Santa Claus is coming to town. I stumble inside, shut the door, go to the bathroom to lose what's left of my coffee. So, anyways, so then, she's like, okay fuck, I'm just gonna be locked in here while this fucking apocalypse is happening. She finds a lump on her breast, um, she tells Aaron, the archivist, But doesn't tell Savannah. Then Aaron obviously tells Savannah. Aaron says you found a lump. Savannah says at dinner. When were you going to tell me about it? Um, it's nothing I say. Aaron doesn't think it's nothing. She says your body odor has changed. Uh, so now we have a lump. Now we have a lump. Um, my breast keeps swelling, hurting, itching. The itching is the worst because the moment I put any pressure on the area around the lump, blinding pain shoots through my chest and into my spine. Yup, so that keeps growing. Okay, here we go. This is fucking sick, dude.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Here we go. I discover that my breast, everyone put on your panties, I discover that my breast has swelled up even more, the skin shiny and tight as a balloon, the lumps cease to be the size of an orange. Oh lord is this cancer, am I going to die in agony? I have to calm down, but the itching is making that really difficult. Warm water helps, so I decide the best thing to do would be to take a soak in the big fancy tub in the master bathroom. She gets in the bathtub. Suddenly, there's a sharp cramp in my breast. Not a cramp, it can't be a cramp. That part of my breast is just fat, the lump is a muscular teratoma. So she's trying to like figure out what the fuck is going on. Another cramp, another, a shuddering inside me twitching. The teratoma is moving, shifting, wriggling. Something is alive inside of my breast, digging deeper into the swollen flesh. Savannah, I scream, there's something inside me. Savannah. So she starts, like, screaming for Savannah.
Track 1:Mm hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:it is from burying into me further. The agony brings vomit into my throat, but the pain is different now. Somehow satisfying, triggering some kind of instinct to get me to tear myself open. I dig my nails into the taunt curve below my areola. My skin ruptures beneath my nails as if I dug into a huge infected boil. This is so gross.
Track 1:God.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Blood and yellow fluid cloud the water. Um, whatever. I have to get the parasite out of there. Um, she pulls the hole open wider. The pain is awful. Worse than anything I've ever endured. Um. The sharp ripping sensation of the parasite squeezing itself free from my breast brings me back to reality of the bathroom. Um. jets away from me in the warm water, a ragged looking red thing that reminds me of a throbbing, disembodied heart trailing an improbable number of blood vessels behind it. Savannah, I shriek, splashing up out of the bloodied water and lurching away from the tub. I stagger to the wall, blood and fluid pouring from my deflated breasts, cascading pink and sticky down my body. It smells a little, whatever, whatever, whatever, disgusting. Then she passes out. Okay. I awaken several hours later. I'm in bed under a sheet. She's trying to bring the world back into focus. Then she hears this, Oh, look, mommy's awake. Savannah says, say hi to mommy. I was so confused.
Track 1:Hi, Mommy, says in a high, muppety voice.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Oh my God. A cold dread washes over me. Savannah is sitting in a folding chair near the bed, smiling and petting something in a fluffy pink bath towel. Something red, something that looks like a heart trailing blood vessels. So now, we see that she basically bird this alien out of her titty.
Track 1:Yeah. Twelve tentacles, one little beaky weaky, a good set of lungs, not gills. Thank goodness. He's already digging into the similac, which is formula. I don't think he has your eyes, though.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:so it's a coelophods, it's a, that how you say that?
Track 1:Yeah. Cephalod. Cephalopod. Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It's
Track 1:Well, octopus has eight. Yeah, it's like a mutated one.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:like a mutated octopus. And
Track 1:it?
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:going to have to go into all the details, but if you read this book, you'll kind of, they go into a lot of detail about the octopus. So basically we find out that they do, before all of this kind of comes to a head, before the apocalypse comes to a head, we figure out this virus is formed from an octopus. But
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:then at the end of the book, we find that And this goes back to your theory that we talked about at the beginning. says something about how it's not an octopus, well, it's kind of an octopus, but it's an alien fell from the fucking sky into the ocean, mutated with octopus, right?
Track 1:Some I don't know if it was like another octopus that fell into the ocean, but it was like something alien that fell into the ocean, and he said like, Octopus are very curious creatures, so they obviously went over there and mutated with it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay. Yes. And that's how this whole thing has happened.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:at the end of the day, we have an octopus mutation disease that's turned rapture. That's turned, now we're repopulating the planet with these creatures and basically Marava is the Virgin Mary of the new world
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:and she is producing these alien things to repopulate the planet.
Track 1:Yeah, just to run I guess just to run through the rest, because I know we're running low on time. Um, basically what happens is they start, the archivists start like behaving weird. Um, oh no, Erin tells her, I need to tell you something, come to the barn tonight. And so she goes to the barn that night and she like makes her eat her cerebellum. And she sees, to give her information, and so she sees like a key in the basement and like a. Folgers red container and then it opens to like this like secret compartment But she doesn't know like why or what that is for She just has that information and she just like knows that she'll know what night she needs to go down there and then the archivist start behaving differently like Savannah tells her you're gonna want to stay inside. You're not gonna want to like witness this and basically, they go into the barn and they start like slicing each other up and like trying to like like Sew each other together.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:It's fucking weird.
Track 1:Yeah, and then that happens for like over a course of a week and Then at the end of the week They all like the sky opens up and they all like get to go like Savannah says like oh they've been they get to go Back to space
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Like, the rapture's over.
Track 1:Yeah, like it now it's just us
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:just them and they're repopulating
Track 1:and you have to repopulate the earth
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Because she's the chosen one.
Track 1:so then Mareeva goes down to this basement, opens the door, and then there's like a record player and a record and it has like a certain symbolism, which I read something that like it connects to something, I guess it's kind of within this genre that people see like the yellow thing. I don't know if you've heard that before. But anyway, so she puts that on the record player and it's kind of like she's taken to a whole other dimension. And um, let me try to find that.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:we read the same book? I don't remember that part at all.
Track 1:You don't remember? It's like the end. Here, I found it. I'll read it. It says I'm filled with dread, a dreadful urge to listen to this strange album. My heart pounding, I slide it out of its paper sleeve, set it up on the turntable, and set the needle on the vinyl. This is page 256.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Oh, yes, yes,
Track 1:There's an initial crackle from the dust and faint scratches. Suddenly the room falls away and I find myself standing upon a high barren cliff above a huge lake with driving waves. The air has an unhealthy odor to it, and in the sky there hangs a trio of strange misshapen moons. Opposite the setting twin suns, three black stars rise, their bright corn corn corn esque gleaming through the street clouds. And it says So, I hear footsteps in the rustling of robes, and through my tears I see a regal iron boot beneath the ogre M embroidered with tiny white bones of bird and mice. At last you've arrived, the stranger says in a voice that makes me want to drive spikes into my brain. The little mother, so much consequence in such an inconsequential form. I look up at him, his face is blank, pale, and it doesn't look like flesh at all. Why are you wearing a mask, I ask, my mind still reeling. Mask, why I never wear no mask.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I never wear no mask!
Track 1:Why I wear no mask. He sounds amused. Why am I here? I stammer. I wish to give you a clearer glimpse of your future. The stranger leans down and touches my forehead with a bone thin finger. Suddenly I'm hovering over the hilltop and millennia in the future. The mansion, the barn, the solar panels are gone and their place is an enormous shuddering. Amorphous mass of gray white flesh has no legs, no arms, no eyes, hundreds of mutated creatures. Some look like spiders, others like millipedes, others like cephalopods and every form in between. Swarm over the bloated monstrosity, pulling squirming larvae from fleshy sacks that ruptured like Boils. The monstrosity moans, wrecked by pain and pleasure in equal measure from this endless spawning process. Meanwhile, a steady train of other creatures bring food to the vast monster's hungry maw, a misshapen hole lined with the rows of teeth that still look vaguely human. Oh my god, I gasp as I'm back at the stranger's feet gripping lichen covered rocks. That's, that's what I become, isn't it? Oh god. She finds out like that's what she's, that's like what she's meant to do. And then he says, um, there's one thing we can do, like. Um, cause she's like kill me and she says, what is it? And he says, when you return to earth, you will find a small gift from me while you wear it. You should not bear more offsprings. You will have the power to escape and live out your mortality elsewhere. Why are you helping me? I do not offer help. I offer a choice. The other gods offer you divinity and adoration. I offer a more difficult, lonelier path. And she says, why are you offering me this choice then? If you refuse the destiny for which you've been groomed, there will be no repopulation of this planet. The world will be silent but for the wind and the trees and the waves crashing upon the empty shores. Just as I wish it to be, but the choice is yours.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:So,
Track 1:Um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:on that ring, then she doesn't have to do any of
Track 1:yeah, so then she wakes up, basically. But like, you put on the ring and, like, there will never be any repopulation. You'll be the end of, um, everything. And then so she puts on the ring and she says, I slipped the ring onto my ring, right? Index finger. There's a bright flash of pain burning in my skin and a stabbing agony deep in the marrow of my finger bone. I try to pull the ring off, but that just makes it worse. So like basically like you make your choice. You can't go back. You can't take this ring off.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Mm hmm.
Track 1:And then Savannah sees that she has the ring on and she tries to like chop her finger off and Mariva punches her in the side of the head. And that's when she's like, should I kill her? What should I do? And she decides she's just going to run away. But then she's like the quote unquote baby, the octopus baby's name is Gregory.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah,
Track 1:And she's like,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Hm. Hm
Track 1:there are three obvious choices before me. First, I leave Gregory where he is and hope that Savannah takes care of him and doesn't turn him into a real monster. And that's supposing that I haven't put her in a coma, because if I have, he'll die slowly of thirst in here. Which leads to choice two, I kill him to preemptively put him out of his misery, but I don't actually know how to euthanize him quickly. I don't know how his anatomy works, even if I did. Even if I did know what would constitute a fast, certain, killing blow, I'm not sure I have it in me. Um, and then she says, Leaving choice number three, I take off my backpack, square my shoulders, and inhale deeply. And this is the first time she touches him. I march forward to the aquarium and lift off the lid. This kid's living in an aquarium. I can do this, I can, I will. I reach down, pick up Gregory, and lift him in my arms. He's heavier than I expected, probably 10 pounds or so. His red skin is covered in short, silver fuzz that feels like velvet. His arms and body are warm and firm, with just a touch of squishiness. He smells a bit like sardines, if I'm being honest. Um,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:His blue eyes
Track 1:yeah, s
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:He yawns at me seemingly unconcerned that I'm holding him.
Track 1:yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:fucking funny. And then she says
Track 1:You wanna go look for Dr. Shapiro with me.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:And then she says I'll take that as a yes, let's go get your stuff together and
Track 1:And that's how the book ends. Which is like, I wanna know what happens.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I Want to know what happens to but see like I like like to this book so much cuz it was so Random. Oh man, it's so, it was so random and it was like not where I thought it was going at
Track 1:At all.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Like and I started reading it and I was like, cool, cause I, I, it was nice to read something that was different than what I've been reading
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:and kind of just like to get you into like just something to read fast for fun. I read this book so quick cause I
Track 1:Hmm.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:want to put it down cause I just wanted to know what was going to
Track 1:It's an easy read though.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Oh, it
Track 1:Like her writing's really easy to read.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, I flew through it. It's so fucking weird.
Track 1:It was difficult, I mean like it wasn't difficult for me to read but it was, it was like I had to take breaks from it.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:You didn't like it?
Track 1:I just wasn't, it was really cool and it's a cool idea and it's a cool thought but like I can't say I was enjoying while I was reading.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I just thought it was fun.
Track 1:I think it was unique and stuff. What would you rate it? Yeah, I think I'm gonna sit at like a 3.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:stuff. What would you rate it? Uh, I mean, I'll probably give it like a four or two.
Track 1:5.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah.
Track 1:Yeah, because it is still unique. It was good writing. I just wish for a little bit more and it was a little too gory for me, but like I can't,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I mean, yeah, that's what you
Track 1:that's just a preference.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I thought it was fun. I mean, whatever. not one that you're going to sit and think about forever. It's just like, that was fucking weird. It's like when you watch like a weird sci fi movie and you're just like, what the fuck was that?
Track 1:Yeah, yeah, that is.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Yeah, you don't like, there's not really, I mean, I guess there could be deeper meaning to it, but I didn't really think there was. Like, whatever.
Track 1:Yeah, maybe I'm always just looking for the deeper meaning. I kind of want to go read some articles and see what the author says about it. We'll see.
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:I thought it
Track 1:All right. Um, you guys can follow us on Instagram at my sister made me read a podcast. Amy is Amy Protorati on Instagram. I'm Abby Protorati. All of that info is down below in our show notes, linked for your pleasure. Uh, please write us on the platform you're listening to. Lots of pleasure today. Um, put your thoughts on this book. Give us your rating. I don't know, tell us everything. Uh, yeah, we'd appreciate it. That's about it. Okay. Alright,
squadcaster-h3bb_1_03-04-2024_100255:Okay,
Track 1:bye guys.
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