My Sister Made Me Read It

THE GLOW Review, Dating, and Testing Our Sister Telepathy

Amy and Abby Preteroti Episode 12

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0:00 | 1:08:13

It’s Abby’s Week!


On this episode of the My Sister Made Me Read It podcast, it’s Abby’s  week to choose what book we read, and she’s decided on the Literary Fiction THE GLOW by Jessie Gaynor. (7:34:7)


In this episode the sisters dive into not only their thoughts on this book, but books they read in March and plan to read in April, Amy’s dating life, and finish up with some fun games that leave them both dying laughing.


Subscribe and Leave us a Review down below! We want to hear from you and what you thought of The Glow. Give it a rating in the comment section of your rating! 


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Credit for Intro and Outro music: This That Shizznit by Beat Mekanik, Free Music Archive, CC BY


squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I'm still working on this bag of Reese's that you got me.

Track 1

Was the ice cream melted?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It was not fit and I was worried because when you said that you sent me something, I was already out of the house

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

and I literally had like, just left my house like 20 minutes before and I knew it would be like a long, I had to go sit down and talk to somebody. So I like knew I'd be gone for a while.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

fuck, I hope she didn't send me ice cream.

Track 1

No, like when I ordered it, you're home and then it said like they were going to get to it in an hour and I was like, okay, whatever. Well, they didn't get to it till two hours and at that point you're already gone. I was like, whatever. Like I already put the order in and then, um, I was talking to mom later that night and I was telling her, like, she was like, what'd you get her or something like that. And I was like, yeah. I got her like, ice cream. She was like, ice cream? Was it melted? And I was like, probably. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

and it's fine.

Track 1

Yeah, it should be.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, I want you to know that made me laugh so fucking hard. I was already in like a state of delusion. Like just from like not sleeping. That was Monday, right?

Track 1

Yeah, I think so.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it was Monday.

Track 1

Monday, yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

so last Sunday I got like, Horrible news. Um, and I told Abby about it and I literally like just come home on Monday. I like went out and she texted me. I was like, there's something on your doorstep. Like. So nice. Like it was, I was like, Oh, that's so sweet. And I come home and there's just like a fucking peace Lily on my doorstep. And I'm like, what the

Track 1

Okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

just was so funny to me. Cause I'm just like, not like me, like going through extreme emotional distress and just like my sister, just like emergency

Track 1

wasn't even

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Lily.

Track 1

It wasn't even like It was like a full on plant. And then like, it was like falling over. Like I was like, it looks like a limp dick.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

beautiful now. It's I'm staring

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it's bloomed. It's so fucking funny. I like literally, there's no way.

Track 1

No, let me tell you, because I wanted to send you flowers, but like, you know, when you do it to like a florist shop, it's always so expensive and they weren't going to be able to get to you by, till the next day, so I was like, I'll just door dash or some shit. So then I realized I could door dash, like, a grocery store. And so I was like, Oh, just do that. And I was going to get you like roses. And then they said like right next to it was just like a picture of a lily and it said like Easter lilies. So I'm thinking it's going to be like a bouquet of Easter lilies. And I'm like, Oh, that's cute. Like I'll get her those

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's like

Track 1

as a plant. It wasn't that exp it wasn't like, more expensive than a bouquet of roses, so I think we lucked out.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it's sitting on my kitchen table. Like, Oh my God. But it made me laugh so fucking hard.

Track 1

Yeah, I was not expecting that.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

was good, I mean like, that's like exactly what I needed to come home to. I just was like, not a fucking peace lily, like, just like, emergency send.

Track 1

Yeah. I told Rose about it later that night, and I was like, I I sent her lilies, but like, look what showed up. We laughed about it for so long. He was like, you sent her a fucking plant. Yeah, I did, apparently.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

made me feel better.

Track 1

Were the chocolates melted?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No, nothing else has melted.

Track 1

See, I wasn't worried about the ice cream. I was worried about the chocolates melting. Like, and like, merging together.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No, we're all good. good.

Track 1

Good.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

That shit

Track 1

That's funny.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

though. yeah, what a rough time I had.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

But all is well, you know, life goes

Track 1

All's well. Chocolate and a peace lily can fix it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, life goes on, you know. It's been fun. Um, I like didn't read for like four days though, cause I was just trying to like disassociate from life.

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

But, yeah.

Track 1

I've read so much this week, uh, or this month, more than usual because I read, um, the first series that Rebecca Yarris wrote, and It's called Flight and Glory and it's like a cliche like romance series, which I kind of love, but there's five books in the series and I blew through them this month. Like, I was staying up till like three in the morning to read these books. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I try so hard to stay up late and read, but I get home so late. Like, last night, I got home. Mmm, night wasn't too bad. I got home probably at like midnight last night. Took a shower, and I was like, I want to read. Cause I'm trying to fucking finish Carnage, which is the fifth book in the Lord series. It's the

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Lord series. And, like, these books are just so long.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

long. So carnage is one of the shorter ones. It's 560 something pages, but it's just like, holy shit. And it's like in two parts. So it's just like a lot to get through.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

trying to like, I'm trying to read it. And I like literally like sat on the couch last night and started reading it. And it's like, I'm at like a really good part. and I just could not stay awake. I kept falling asleep. So.

Track 1

are long books though. Like the, the Rebecca Yara's books I read, they were like 300 pages max,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah,

Track 1

but they flew by really quickly.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

ones. And then like, that vampire book that I started, did I tell you about it?

Track 1

I think so, maybe. What was it called? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it down because like, I wanted to finish Carnage. And, like, it's 800 pages. And like the pages are like paper paper paper thin like, you know,

Track 1

Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like tissue paper type pages

Track 1

but I call them Bible pages. Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

pages and like the font's really small and i'm like literally like dying like trying to get through it

Track 1

it's horrible.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, so I put that one down i'm gonna finish knock out carnage I like i'll pick up vampires again, but it's really good

Track 1

Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's really good

Track 1

I finished, um, It Ends With Us last night. I finally read it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I can't get with it.

Track 1

Did you finish it?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I can't get with it.

Track 1

Why?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I've never read them. I don't know.

Track 1

Oh, I

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Not

Track 1

just didn't like it. Yeah, it was a little different than what I thought. But it's like a classic Colleen Hoover book of like, fast pace. Like, it's, it has depth, but it doesn't have depth. It was just like one of those books. But she has the sequel. Huh?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Can you hear me chewing?

Track 1

No.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay.

Track 1

She has the sequel for it. And I was thinking maybe I'll go pick it up and read it. Because why not? But I don't know.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't know. I've got so much shit that I want to read.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah. Anyways, we just finished, um, The Glow. Did you like it?

Track 1

I didn't hate it. Yeah, it's it was a it was like a very slow literary fiction

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I

Track 1

book.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like two weeks ago. I don't really remember it.

Track 1

Yeah But

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it was good, but like, I listened to it. Like, I had it on my Kindle and listened to it. Cause I just wanted to like blast through it. It was entertaining.

Track 1

Yeah

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it.

Track 1

It wasn't something that I was like, I have to keep reading I have to keep reading But it was something where I was like, I'm kind of interested where this is going because it feels like it's going nowhere

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It was just a story.

Track 1

Yeah Yeah

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

no

Track 1

that's, that's what literary fiction is. Like, it's just, it kind of, there's no, like, twist. There's no big romance. It's just kind of is what it is.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah. Like it was very flat. And it was like an entertaining story and it was kind of funny. Like some points were funny. But like It like read like a movie. Like just like a

Track 1

Here, let me read the synopsis since we both read it a while ago.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

have the physical thing?

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

big is it?

Track 1

Yeah. Not big at all.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's pretty.

Track 1

I bought this in Charleston. Yeah, I got a signed copy actually in Charleston. But, um, Here, let me read this. Jane Dorner has two modes, PR Jane, 25, chummy and eager to sell you a feminist vibrator or a self care bereavement subscription box, and actual Jane, 29, drifting through mediocre work days and lackluster dates while paralyzed by her crushing mountain of overdue medical bills. When her job performance is called into question, Jane's last ditch effort to preserve her livelihood and pay off her debts is to land a great white whale of a client. Enter the impossibly gorgeous Cass, whom Jane discovers while scrolling through Instagram, and her unassuming husband, Tom, proprietors of W A wellness retreat based out of a ramshackle country house that may or may not be giving off cult vibes. Magnetic yet mysterious, Cass is primed to be an influencer. She speaks in a mix of inspirational quotes and zen cones, eats only zucchini, the most spiritually nourishing vegetable, and has baby perfect skin. Despite Tom's resonance about selling out, Jane wants to transform Cass into a high end wellness brand, offering inner peace while making your skin glow. All at a hefty price, of course. As Jane reckons with her own long dormant ambitions, she wonders, can a person really do good for others while profiting off them? And what parts of ourselves do we lose when we traffic in power, influence, and beauty?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, that's pretty much the whole book.

Track 1

Yeah, it is like the whole book.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah. I thought maybe like when we first like picked it up, I thought maybe it was going to go a direction and I don't know why, but I listened to a podcast one time. That was literally just, um, I forget what it was called, but it was just a collection of like fictional short stories. they were like scary stories. Cause I

Track 1

Hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

vibe. So,

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it was like this fucking light sun is fucking killing me, bro. I got to close this. Um, and one of the episodes was like about. Very, like a very similar thing. And it basically was like this lady, like there was like a lady kind of like what's, what's her name? Cass is the head

Track 1

Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

kind of like the head person and everyone was like obsessed with her. And she had like a wellness retreat that people would go to and go through like these beauty. Like procedures and like become like, it was like a youthful thing. Like there would be like younger

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

uh, a girl like went to work there. It was like literally similar vibe, but like ghost sinister. Like she goes to work there and finds out like why these people are like coming out younger and they go through like these beauty procedures that like

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like steal, like, So like the people who work there She like only hires like really like pretty hot like super young useful people

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

who like are employees there. She basically like Somehow like steals their youth and like puts it into like the people who are paying for the retreat

Track 1

Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

so I like thought it might have like a similar like twist to that, but no it was literally just this like who's like a social media manager and like trying to like figure out her place in the world You

Track 1

she's basically just trying to like build this business more than it is You know, like make it into more than what it was.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

of like they're they're like fucking cult it's like cast the cult leader, bro

Track 1

Okay. So like you talk about it, like I thought the whole time it was going to go sinister too, but like in the beginning, the amount of times she talks about this, like, I think it's a cult or like people think it's a cult. I was like, Oh, this is like going to be a cult. Like I, that's where I thought it was going. And then I thought she was just going to start, instead of like tearing the cult apart, she was going to like join them type of thing.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

She

Track 1

be like head leader with Cas, but it's not a fucking cult.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I mean, yeah, hold on one second. I'm trying to take this off. I'm burning I Don't know I think like do you think like Cass is like really fucking like that cuz that bitch is extra as fuck or do You think she was just like? That was like her business

Track 1

I don't know because like we didn't even but like remember, um, what's the other girl's name? Jane? She doesn't she goes she finds the shed and like in the shed is like a gallery wall pictures of her And we never really find out why that is

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't

Track 1

Do you remember that?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No. No idea what you're talking

Track 1

Remember and then it turned weird and she like masturbated on the floor in this in the shed You don't remember this? Hold on.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Like the group masturbation?

Track 1

No, there's the group masturbation, but at one point Tom and Cass are fighting or something and they tell Cass, they tell Jane to like go in the forest and give him space and she finds the shed that like Cass always goes off to to like pray in

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No.

Track 1

worship in and it like has a wall full of

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Pictures of

Track 1

of Jane.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

What?

Track 1

Let me see if I can find this.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No, I must have been in a different world. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I did like, um, Tom though. That was his name?

Track 1

Yeah, Tom, Tom and Daniel are like the only two normal people.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Tom was real as fuck. He was like, this bitch is crazy. But, also, like, Felt bad for him. Sad, sad guy.

Track 1

He was confusing too.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

you think he was, like, hot? Like, what do you think Tom looked like?

Track 1

Here it is. Sorry, let me find where I want to start.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't know why I don't remember this. I

Track 1

I'm gonna start here. This is page 2 43. There were two small windows on the side of the shed just above her head. She could barely reach them when she stood on her tiptoes, but it was too dark to make anything out inside. When she pushed the front door attentively, it gave like a screen. She felt her pulse quicken, though she wasn't sure if it was from fear or excitement or both. Once her eyes adjusted, she saw a Camp Lantern on her wooden crate. She taped it on. She tapped it on and found herself in a clubhouse she dreamed of as a lonely kid. It smelled like moss and pennies and faintly like Bath and Body Works. On the floor was a nest of blankets and bedrolls she recognized from the house and clusters of fat, colorful fla colorful fl candles. Good lord. The walls were almost entirely covered with dirt. Baytick sheets, save one for one square layered with magazine clippings. Jane had the Law and Order feeling again as she approached it. The clippings were mostly photos of people Jane recognized. Reality stars and A list actors, as well as jewelry, other evidence of abundance. There were a few words, too, all positive. Radiant, fit for a queen, glow. Still, it took her a moment to recognize the sum total as a collage of the sort she might have made in middle school. She looked more closely to see if there was some hidden artistry she was missing. Maybe it was a commentary on middle school collage. She ran her hands over the surface and had the sense of memory of smelling a purple glue stick, pretending it to get high. There was a second crate in the corner, this one crammed full of magazines. Maybe she was on the wall. Um, Um,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Maybe Jane wasn't on any of it.

Track 1

So then, Jane picks up a magazine, a Cosmo magazine, and it says, She flopped down on the blanket nest. She felt she had finally been invited to the popular girl's 7th grade slumber party, 15 years too late. Um,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

don't know

Track 1

let me jump down.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I think you're wrong, but

Track 1

Well, I know she does stuff, cause look. Reading descriptions of physical contact made Jane realize how long it had been since she'd been touched in an ambiguous way, sexual way. Her date with Adrian had been more than two months ago now, and she rerouted her romantic desperation into the pursuit of Cass Industries. Um, this time she reached up her t shirt dress, imagining her fingers belonged to a square jawed ginger on page 54. And then basically she, like, talks about masturbating. And then the next chapter starts. When she woke up, it was dark. She felt sticky like she had been lightly glazed in honey while he slept while she slept. I'm like, gross. So, it wasn't pictures of her. It was pictures of, like, celebrities. I messed that up. I thought this book ended weird, too.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't, I don't remember how it ended. I, like, think that, especially like, going back to the shed with the celebrity, Um, that makes me think like, all of it is kind of like a facade.

Track 1

Yeah. That's what I thought, I think, when I read it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't know.

Track 1

I don't either because, like, the Towards the end of the book when they go to the convention and then they're having dinner with like Daniel and Tom and then the guy that Jane was hooking up with at the time

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I loved

Track 1

like

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

the dinner scene.

Track 1

It was such like an odd scene and she was putting it on pretty thick.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Well, she, like, it, like, kind of showed, like, that was, like, the first time I felt like there was, like, much, like, emotion out of them. And it kind of showed, like, how, like, difficult the dynamic was.

Track 1

Yeah

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it was, like, okay, Tom and fucking Cass were married. But, like, she I don't know. It was

Track 1

She even says like at when Tom is like I've been sleeping with Daniel She's like who is Daniel and it's like you slept with him and you lived with him Like that's a lie. You remember him

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah.

Track 1

Unless you're like possessed.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

She might have been possessed.

Track 1

She had a weird spirit in her.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It was weird. Who did you, like, think in your head that it looked like, like she, Cass looked like?

Track 1

I don't know.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I thought of, what's that actress's name who plays in Gone Girl?

Track 1

Oh,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Who also is the mom in Saltburn.

Track 1

yeah, I know who you're talking about. I forget her name.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

who I saw as Cass. Just, like, really put together on the outside, but, like, kind of, like, has crazy behind her eyes. You know what

Track 1

Yeah, I think that's right. I think that's accurate.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And I

Track 1

I was thinking, I was thinking of the show, which I haven't watched it, so I don't know if this is even accurate, um, with Nicole Kidman and Nine Perfect Strangers.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Mm hmm.

Track 1

like, these people go on, like, a wellness retreat and then apparently it, like, takes a turn. I need to watch that. I haven't watched it. But, um, that's kind of, like, what I thought this book was going in the direction of. So that's what I kind of envisioned, I guess, for Cass

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

There

Track 1

being, like, a crazy lady and just wanting to control people.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Which I think could

Track 1

But,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it too, but like we didn't really see that How did it end it just like ended like it just like they her and cast just like continued on with the business

Track 1

I mean, basically, but the, Tom's mom comes

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh,

Track 1

to a retreat and then she sends in, like, a letter of, like, review, basically. With pictures of herself and then like it ends and Jane says she like saves the pictures in a folder Like what you would do to be like, I'm saving the reviews to use them later on for business and it ends Which is so odd.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So odd

Track 1

I don't know. I think maybe because we're so used to having books that have like Either greater meanings or like have the twists and turns or like you can read into them a lot more it's like We're reading in a lot more into this book and it's just like a girl who was on a wellness thing and like needed a job and like

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I

Track 1

two women.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

i'm like i'm like It has to have a deeper meaning like there has to be something that like we're missing and I think there might be but at The same time like maybe it's just like it just is what it is and that could be the symbolism in it

Track 1

Yeah, I read the acknowledgments and she was talking about There was like two people that she that kind of encouraged her to write this book and helped her write it like throughout she would like send them stuff and they would give feedback and like there was never like a Inkling of you know, helping me with this deep like no like deeper meaning or anything it just kind of like I got the impression that it was kind of just like I was just telling a story about a person.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I mean, fuck it. We read it.

Track 1

Yeah, I mean

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I mean, the fucking, the cover art is, is, I really like the, the aesthetic of the book. So like, it's really

Track 1

It makes sense now that i've read it didn't make sense to me when I picked it up

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah.

Track 1

if she has other books.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

But yeah, anyways, that's pretty much all we have to say about that book.

Track 1

Yeah, I will say um, it did remind me a little bit of

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Big Swiss.

Track 1

swiss Yeah, see that's like her only book.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like the same writing style, but like I adored big Swiss, like there was storylines. There was like, like,

Track 1

Oh, she has a podcast

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

there was like a lot to hold on to with big Swiss,

Track 1

Yeah, definitely

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

what's this month. Oh, we just got into April. What did

Track 1

Yeah

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

read this in March? Why can't I fucking remember what I've read in March, bro? I think, I think I fucking finished. Let's see. Okay, I read in March, let me see, The Glow. I finished A Court of Silver Flames, so I'm done with

Track 1

Mm hmm

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Literally,

Track 1

didn't know, pause, I didn't know she was still writing that series.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

oh yeah.

Track 1

I didn't know that. I thought it was done.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Abby, when I fucking tell you, like I know like people like love ACOTAR so much and I do so fucking much. Like it's the, but it like doesn't even feel like a, like you can compare it to anything. It's like its own thing.

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

A Court of Silver Flames, and people like hate on that one so much, like they think it's like the, like some people like think it might be like the worst one aside from the novella. I have never read a better book in my fucking life. I'm not kidding. Like, I, when I tell you, like, I'm going to force my future partner to read the entire series just so they can read Silver Flames. Because like, The way that like that book, I've never resonated more with a character in my life.

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's so good.

Track 1

I've officially decided I'm going to read all of them in the month of July.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Abby, if you don't I'm gonna fucking scream. Like

Track 1

No, I am. I just, I just like know I'm gonna get so like enthralled with them that I'm gonna be up every night till three in the morning reading and I just can't with my schedule the next few months.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't think that's necessarily true. I think like you'll be fine, but like it is so fucking good and my friend Chloe just bought the whole series So she's gonna start it and I'm just like So excited It's so It's just really good. Like I

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

the entire series like every single book made me cry but silver flames I had to like physically put the book down and get up and be like I am not okay like

Track 1

Did you know she um, started the series when she was 16?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No, that's a throne of glass. She started

Track 1

it Throne of Glass?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

hmm

Track 1

That's crazy to me.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

starting thrown in glass next I think i'm going to start it next month because I it's an eight book series and I know that I'm gonna just dive

Track 1

Is that one finished?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yes.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So, um I'm, really excited to start throwing a glass, but i'm not going to start it yet but I just have like a tendency to like gravitate towards series and feel like Like when I do like a series like those books are so such high priority to me Like other books kind of fall to the wayside and I like want to read so many other things

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So I don't want to start a new series like i'm about to finish the lord series But I feel like I haven't really been able to focus on other books starting the lord series because

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

such high priority know

Track 1

Yeah. I was telling Jose that the other day, like, this is The Rebecca Yarrow series I just read was the first series in a while that I've read. Like, multibook series. I think I've read like some sequels and stuff, but like multibook. And it's like, I really enjoy reading series. I forgot how much I enjoy it. Because, I, I don't know, you just like kind of, he was telling me he's reading, um, a fantasy series and it like, well, he's reading a few, but like, they're not finished yet. And so he like, hasn't had a series that has like a finality to it. And he was like, I'm like really craving something. And I was like, yeah, like I get that. Cause I just had that with my series.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

You would hate the lord series

Track 1

Yeah. Mm

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

good though, like it's so fucking good It's one of my favorite series I've ever read. And like, it's so like, it is extremely, extremely dark

Track 1

hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

very, like descriptive, like with like sex and stuff, but like the storyline, like she does such a fucking good job with the storyline. It's so

Track 1

I think I might pick it up just, just so we could talk about it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's so suspenseful like the storyline is so good and like she weaves like all of the characters are like weaved in and everything like goes back to one thing

Track 1

Mm hmm. All right.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

parts and like it just makes you not want to put them down like right now like in carnage like there was a scene in um, the sacrifice which is the fourth book. There's a scene in the sacrifice that had. main component of the carnage book in it So when you're reading the sacrifice and you see this scene you're like what the fuck and then you want to know what happens But what happens like that storyline is the carnage storyline So then you're like, oh my god, so I was reading carnage and you like re see that whole scene from their perspective

Track 1

Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's just like the way like she weaves it all in is so good

Track 1

yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's so good. I love it

Track 1

We went to, um, the Mall of Georgia this past weekend to go do some things. And I was like, can we just go to Barnes and Noble? I haven't been in that Barnes and Noble in so long. And it's so big. So I was like, let's go in. And of course I bought a few books.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

What'd you

Track 1

Um, well, I bought Bride because we're going to be reading that coming up,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

too, I bought it

Track 1

but, um, I bought Butcher in the Ren because I haven't read that yet

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh my god, I'm so excited!

Track 1

her, and her sequel is coming out soon. So,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

in September, I gave Butcher in the Wren to Melanie to read.

Track 1

yeah, so I bought that one.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

in the Wren.

Track 1

And then, um, I read this book a while ago when it came out and I did not like it at all. Have you heard of this one?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yes! I literally picked it up yesterday in Target.

Track 1

I'm gonna give it another shot because I feel like I didn't do it well. So I'm gonna reread it and she came out with a sequel to it so I brought the sequel.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah.

Track 1

Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Interesting.

Track 1

I brought the sequel.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Interesting. Mm

Track 1

I think it's a young adult romance so it's not like kind of what we're used to I guess. It's the same idea of like how Divine Rivals just didn't really do it to us. I think it's gonna be like in the same note.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah

Track 1

I saw um, what's the sequel to Divine Rivals? Ruthless Vows. I saw that and I was like, I can't buy it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

know I can't spend my money on it.

Track 1

No either.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

i'm gonna wait. I'm sure it'll pop up on kindle unlimited soon

Track 1

I don't know about soon, but I think yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And when it does i'll probably fucking read it because I do want to read it Like I was talking to mel about it the other day. Like I do want to fucking read it, but like It's just not high priority

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And like I have so many other books that I want to read right now and like honestly abby like You I think like getting into dark romance has ruined me because I don't want to read anything if it's, if it's like mild. You know what I mean?

Track 1

Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't know. I'm like, like I get like the ick from it.

Track 1

Yeah. That's why I try not to like hone in on a certain genre because

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I

Track 1

then nothing else like is enjoyable to me. I like to like read a romance and then read a fantasy and then read a literary fiction and then read this and then read like something different all the time,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

yeah.

Track 1

but I don't know.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's hard.

Track 1

Young adult, new adult, adult, like. Even just like age range.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Young

Track 1

young adults are good.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

bad. I'm just like, ugh. Like, Melanie's reading Carnival right now.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Carnival.

Track 1

Yeah, something like that.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

she liked the first one, and she just finished the second one, and is going to go into the third one soon, but she was like, Reading like the epilogue of the second one and I guess they like said like how a character was 16 and she was like What the fuck like? Excuse me, I'm like that's literally how I felt when we read that. Uh, what

Track 1

The summer

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

summer broken

Track 1

rules.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I was like, are these like 12 year olds like what is happening? Dude speaking. Okay Can we talk about my personal life for a second

Track 1

Yeah, sure.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So I went on a date, you know, I like, um, that was, thank you for the encouraging eyes. Cause

Track 1

Well, you just looked at me like you wanted a response.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

say anything

Track 1

Because all you said was I went on a date. Why did I say that? Good job? Oh,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

me like, Anyways, um, I went on a date on Sunday, so I met this guy and, um, I'm not going to give too much information cause it's like a super, super, super new obviously, but like I'm so into it and this guy is so like like man, like a man, like this is a fucking man. Abby, I'm not giving specifics. Okay. Um, this man is younger than I thought he was,

Track 1

God.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

but I'm going to go with it.

Track 1

Just say how many years younger he is than you.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay. Hold on. Let me do six. I know.

Track 1

Okay, on to the next one.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Six

Track 1

You're like Christian Cavalieri.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I know, Abby. And it's like, but like, and he's so like mature and shit. And like we talked and I've never had better conversation. Like we had a great conversation. We went on a date on Sunday and literally closed the restaurant down. We were there for over four hours. And like it did not

Track 1

That's good.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And I have to tell you this one thing that he did. So while leading up to it, He texted me on Sunday and all he said was, um, uh, tables reserved for eight. And I was like, smash. So he like made it, I mean like the bars in the basement, but he like made a reservation and just was like tables reserved for eight o'clock and I'm like that perfect.

Track 1

Appreciate it. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah. Like what the fuck men don't think like that these days, at least men my fucking age.

Track 1

Yeah. Mm

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And then at dinner, like it was great. We were having such a good time. And, um, I was like, I think they're like closing cause they like closed at midnight. So, and we were, it was like kind of like a lounge vibe. So we're like in like these loungy seats. It's like low seating

Track 1

hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

um, Abby, when I tell you, I didn't even notice this man do anything like literally kept eye contact with me the whole time we were having a conversation and the waitress walks by and he just goes like this. And holds his card up like so smooth. Like as she's walking by, doesn't break eye contact with me at all. And she just like, it's like, Oh, and like takes the card. And I was like, and she, and he like, didn't even like eye contact. He just like holds up the card and she like grabs it. And she's like, Oh, I'll bring you the signed receipt. And he was just like, thank you. And I'm like, like, didn't like look at the bill. Nothing. Just like, here's my card, but not bitch. He was just like, here's my card. He

Track 1

He was,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

respectful.

Track 1

was reading.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

call the waitress bitch. He was so respectful, so nice to service team, like so nice to the servers. Like, thank you so much. Like shit like that. Right. Oh, loved it.

Track 1

All good signs.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Huh? All

Track 1

All good signs.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

only one small concern. So the age,

Track 1

okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it's like a little, it's, it's not, I wouldn't say it's a concern because all like his qualities are different and he, like a really solid job. He was raised by a single mom too. So I think like that has a lot to do with it.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Um, but he was so respectful, like walked me to my car, like whatever, whatever. We chatted and like, when I went to like leave, he was like, I was like, okay, like bye, whatever. And like, was just like standing outside the car and he was just like, Okay, like I'm not walking away until you're in your car, like get in your car and like close

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

door and like, just like shit like that. Like I

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

you

Track 1

we all deserve shit like that.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Well, and I was like, like something that like, I know, like you even know, and I've said to you is like, I have been on my own for so long and I'm already so, so, so, I'm already so like hyper independent and I have like a very like assertive masculine energy to me anyways. Like I need someone to like overpower that sometimes and

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

did that. Like I mean I know it was just like one date but like it was refreshing.

Track 1

Well, you just need to like to feel safety with somebody to the effect of like, you don't have to be. On alert 24 seven.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Right.

Track 1

by myself, I'm on alert 24 seven. And especially if I'm like in the city or something. But if I'm with Jose, I'm like flamboyant. Like,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

just

Track 1

what's going on half the time, like he's taking care of everything.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And then yesterday. So we both work, obviously we're both working adults

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

and we were texting yesterday and I texted him like back and forth, whatever. And I didn't get a response from him. Like I texted him at like three 30

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

and I hadn't heard from him. And it's like six o'clock. Right.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I didn't even think twice about it. Like, I know he's at work. I'm at work. Like I, whatever. You

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

talk to you 24 fucking seven. Like I

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

to. And he texted me at six 30 and said, I'm not ignoring you. Just been busy for the second half of the day. And I was like, that's literally all it takes. It's like,

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

wasn't thinking you're ignoring me, but like, thank you for saying that.

Track 1

I was, I was going to say, like, I don't know if age is like a huge, Like I don't know if it should be an issue because sometimes like younger people and I think I can speak on it because i'm Younger and like I was always mature for my age like sometimes people who are younger just like I could let me just say this I When I met jose at 20 years old, I could never imagine dating another 20 year old Because like we just weren't aligned with like maturity people were like still going out and drinking and partying and that was never me And so like I went for a little bit older To match my maturity age You And I feel like I found my match in that. So like, and I'm not saying you're downgrading. I'm saying he's upgrading to maybe he's just that mature. And like,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah.

Track 1

think it is the similarities of like having a single mom who raises you right.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And like, I have always dated older and like my ex boyfriend was younger than me. And he was just the absolute worst. but like, still is the absolute worst. Like he's never matured at

Track 1

No,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

foresee him ever maturing. So it's like, I think it like, just, I don't, I don't know.

Track 1

I think it's just important to have for him to have the qualities, like qualities of having like an ambition and wanting to do things with his life and like a future and wanting to always better himself. I think that's really important when you're finding like a match with somebody

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah. And

Track 1

no matter their age.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

you know, I'm always nervous to like, talk about like my sobriety with people. Like, just

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

never sobri, something that I've learned in my sobriety is like, sobriety makes people uncomfortable.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it really does and um, so i'm always like not nervous But just like i'm prepared for people not to react like positively to it.

Track 1

Yeah. Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Like, why do you stop? Why did you stop drinking? And i'm like, that's kind of like a rude question like

Track 1

I don't get that.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

question, but like um he Reacted so well to it. He's like he told me he was proud of me. I'm like, that's like, okay You He was like, that's really admirable and like, really like inspirational that like

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

do that. And I'm like,

Track 1

It is.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Like, yeah, it is. And it's something that I'm really proud of. And he was like, so okay with it. I like went through three Pellegrinos and a wine glass on our date and he had like two glasses of like fucking whiskey and it's fine. It was like fine.

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

a big drinker, doesn't like do drugs, doesn't smoke, doesn't do anything.

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So I like love that because people that I've dated in the past like fucking drug dealers potheads

Track 1

Well, they use, yeah, they use stuff to numb the pain sometimes.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, so I don't know it was

Track 1

Well, hopefully it goes well. It sounds like it's good.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah Yeah, it was fun like we were like sitting and I was just like i'm having like such a good time and he was like Me too, like this is great

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

you know, like what else is he's a fucking leo and I think that has a lot to do with it

Track 1

Probably.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

super compatible with leos And I just loved the energy You

Track 1

What birthday is Leo?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Leo's like august

Track 1

what I thought.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, like early august. What's before august july

Track 1

I was just, I was thinking the same

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

think it's like late july early august because

Track 1

thing. Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah It was fun

Track 1

That's like how Jose and I were. We, um, every time the first few times we hung out, it was like we were closing down the restaurant or it was three hours. We went to a play in Lawrenceville and we sat in the parking deck and sat there and talked. And I told him all about like my life. I told him all about dad. And this was like our second date.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Mm

Track 1

And we sat there for four hours and just talked in the parking deck.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah how

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like and it just like felt like I felt so Comfortable like I could like be myself and he was so validating like he kept just saying like love that. Like, I love that. Like he like kept saying that to me, like after like things that I would like tell him about me and I'm just like, thanks.

Track 1

I am the shit, aren't I?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I know. Thank you. waiting for someone to validate that.

Track 1

Yeah. Well, that's what you need in life. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I've been, cause I love like. Words of affirmation and like physical touch and like validating things like I really am into shit like that So like when I'm like with a partner like I feel like I love people in those ways and like some people just don't like that and it makes me feel like I'm Um, like with my ex, like I would like try to validate him and like give him like words of affirmation and like shit like that. And he'd be like, I, I know, like, stop telling me these. And I'm just like,

Track 1

Oh,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

you. Like,

Track 1

okay. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

know? So like with someone who like, Like can receive those things then also in return give them back to me I'm like, yeah, I fucks with this and that's

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

That's like heavy Leo energy to like Wanting like validation and shit. Like I love it.

Track 1

Yeah. I think men in general, like Have a hard time accepting comp like I work on it with Jose sometimes of like, can you just accept my compliment? You know, like it's hard for them to accept them, but I think it's really important for them. Jose and I have those conversations all the time because we want kids in the future and like how are we gonna raise our kids? And I always tell him like if we have a son, I'm gonna raise an emotional son. Like I'm not raising them the way like Jose was raised very similary similary?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay. Yes

Track 1

Like, Jose was raised to like, like dad

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Uh

Track 1

in the same sense of like, you have to be hard. Men don't have emotions. You just provide.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Uh

Track 1

And I tell him all the time, like, I'm not doing that shit.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like that?

Track 1

You don't?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't know I feel like dad was pretty very was emotional

Track 1

Yeah, I think so too. I don't think, yeah, I don't say that to say that.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

without like telling us he loved us You

Track 1

Because grandpa never told him he loved him.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No. True. Okay. I see what you

Track 1

Like, and that's why, and Jose is the exact same way.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah.

Track 1

tells me all the time, like, I won't be like my father.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Dad was very, very like, I guess validating is the right word, but like, I never went a second without thinking, you know, Dad didn't like adore

Track 1

us. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

We were like the light of his lives.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

he made sure we knew it. Yeah. That's like why, like when sometimes like I, and as you're right, like, especially with men, like men that like I date or just like men that I know and they like, or like, yeah, my dad doesn't tell me he loves me. I'm like, what,

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

mean? I

Track 1

It's so common.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

dad doesn't kiss me. My dad doesn't like this. Like my dad doesn't hug me. I don't like talk to my, like, that's fucking crazy to

Track 1

Mm hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, I mean like I understand it but like that was not our experience at all

Track 1

No, no.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

either

Track 1

But I,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I mean, yeah, maybe

Track 1

we can't get rid of mom.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Mom was like i'm fucking you bitches

Track 1

Mom's like, leave me the fuck alone.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Mom was real as fuck for that And he loved every second of it like

Track 1

Yeah, he did.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

but

Track 1

Um, Yeah, I mean, just going back to it, like, I think it's really important to find a, it's, what it is at the end of the day is emotional intelligence. And like, and like, the acknowledgement of it for men and like, knowing that like, we as a society kind of need to heal that aspect in our society, I think is really important. And I think that's going to come from our generation of like, the next, raising the next generation.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Mm hmm. It's very like there's like a it's a hard line though, because it's like I don't know because there's so there's such thing as being like emotional intelligence without being like soft

Track 1

And yeah, I don't think they go together.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah

Track 1

I think an emotional intelligence is just being able to reflect on yourself and your behaviors and be able to, like, appropriate, like, appropriately react.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Right and like

Track 1

Like, like a lot of, like, a lot of men who don't have that often become defensive easily. They have too much pride. They then point fingers. I would say, like, I would even venture to say, like, a lot of men who are aggressive towards other people have lack of emotional intelligence.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh

Track 1

Like the inability to point the finger back at themselves and be like, what am I doing wrong? That's creating this situation.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

that's going around and it's like this it's it's Like a thirst trap TikTok, which is my entire for you page. But it's like this guy and he's like, it's like, um, men who are raised by their fathers. And it's like this guy, like trying to fight somebody. And then it's

Track 1

I have seen that

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

their mother. And he's just like standing there,

Track 1

Standing there looking at you. Yeah, but it's accurate.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And I'm like, that's so accurate

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I mean, like not always, you don't, you know, not, we don't speak in absolutes, but like, yeah,

Track 1

Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it's funny. It's funny. I don't know, dude. We'll

Track 1

we shall see

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

We'll fucking see. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket, but I am

Track 1

It's fine.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

just in case,

Track 1

I Am shaving my legs

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

but my cooter is hairless. I'll tell you that I shaved my butt crack.

Track 1

punani

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I swear to

Track 1

Gross.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I swear to God.

Track 1

Uh

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

one day and I said, Ooh, booking a pedicure.

Track 1

oh. Maybe I should be doing this.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah. I'm not.

Track 1

but,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yup.

Track 1

uh, gross.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So that's how my life is going. I mean, and it's so fucking funny because I went through such trauma like a week ago.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

but you know what, bitch? Like, and I went the fuck through it. Like, I know like me and you haven't really talked about it too in depth, but like, I'm sure you probably talked to mom a little bit. fucking went through it. Like I

Track 1

Yeah. Mm-Hmm?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I was not

Track 1

Mm-Hmm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

But I. to said person, listen, I'm going to, going to fucking have my moment

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

be fine. And that's exactly what I did. And I like went through it. I let myself feel what I was feeling for not even three days. And bitch, when I tell you like, I could not give a fuck right now.

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I'm so I'm, I'm the most

Track 1

Well, that's what I told you and that's why I sent you flowers and chocolate and ice cream because it's like, take your time and feel your feels so you can then get over it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah.

Track 1

Because I've learned in my 25 years of life that if I don't feel my feelings, I harbor them for, like, for years. And then I'm, I, it all comes to an end and I'm like, why the fuck am I still feeling this?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And

Track 1

And I get angry.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

and this is what I'm telling all of my friends who are, who are telling me like, and my, my closest friends are, are hurting, were hurting with me and some of them are still hurting

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

angry. And I, I told them, I was like, have the best group of friends, like ever. Like, it's insane. I'm so lucky. And I told all of them, I mean, they banded around me and I was like, you guys. I'm so lucky that I have you guys to be angry to give me the space to feel this and be sad And they all just like stood around me like a fucking shield and were mad for me while I could kind of heal

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

And that's like exactly what I needed and i'm really lucky that I was able to have that And they're all still angry and like I was talking to them like literally just two days ago that they're still feeling these feelings of like anger and resentment and I'm telling them like they're like I don't know how you're okay. Like, how are you doing this? How are you? Like, like one of them was like, you're fucking strong as shit. And I'm like, dude. I'm suffering a little bit still. Like I, I can't lie. Like this is painful for me, but who the fuck is it hurting?

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I'm not going to feel, I'm not going to continue to be upset and be angry towards these people because like all it is doing is hurting me and I am not, I don't want to feel those feelings. So I'm not going to,

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it go move on with my life and it's fine, and that's what I've been able to do. Cause

Track 1

think that's good.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

when you like hold resentment and anger towards people for their actions and I can't change what's going on, I can't change the

Track 1

Mm hmm. Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So fuck it. What am I going to do? All I can do is choose

Track 1

your reaction.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

that I react towards it. And I feel like I've reacted very appropriately

Track 1

Yeah, I agree. I think it's good that like you and your friends gave you the space to be able to have those feelings because I think oftentimes, too, like, there's that innate, like, just get over it. Like, it's fine. I didn't even have a right to be upset type of ideal. And especially put that's pushed on women of like, get over it, get over it, you're emotional, get over it. So I'm glad that you guys had that space.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

yeah, no, they, they banded around me and they. Yeah, like let me

Track 1

I think at the end of the day, like, that relationship and all the other relationships you've had and then this guy that you've been talking about, I think it's just learn from him. Like, you didn't like how you were being treated, you still like how you're being treated by your ex. Like, you enjoy the fact that this guy that you've just had dinner with treated you differently and, like, treats waitstaff differently and, like, all these different things and, like, if this guy doesn't work out, at least you can go forward knowing, like, I rather that than that.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh, fuck. Yeah

Track 1

And it, like, it becomes like a funnel of, like, you're getting closer and closer to finding someone.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like I am so comfortable in my singleness and like that's why it's hard for me to date because it's just Like I would much rather like I literally went on a date one time Semi recently and I just like immediately knew that it was not gonna fucking work out and I just was like, you know What i'm gonna go home like it's fine I

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

but like i'm not trying to play with people's time or feelings like is not gonna work I'm, just gonna head out like I would just rather Be on my own than be in something like that

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

and Like I Fucking word to lala can't like i'm just a bitch in these streets trying to rebrand and get a sperm donor. Like i'm Like that could be my like i'm so down for that being my life But

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like a partner comes in then great but like i'm at the point where it's just like

Track 1

Life is great with a partner when the partner's the right partner. It's the worst when it's not.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, but it's definitely not something I need like i'm very like aware that like like I was telling people This is kind of funny. I feel like we're all over the place. But whatever this is fun

Track 1

It's okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I was not I've like told people like my life. I feel like life is gonna go two ways

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

and maybe i'm wrong I could absolutely a hundred percent fucking be wrong. But who

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

my like Idea of how my life's gonna go as of now. Um, i'm either number one going to Make a fuck ton of money and just be on my own and get a sperm donor and have my own babies and never have to share my kids with any human ever

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

to worry about that. And I would be so unbelievably happy. You guys have no idea. Like

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

fulfill me. Like I just want to be a mom so I could do that. My life could go that way.

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Or. I think i'm a fucking second wife, bitch. I think my husband Might be like happily married right now or maybe like not happily married but like my husband got married to like a high school sweetheart At a super young age, Like they got married at like a super young age, had kids and like, just realized like in their late twenties, like, Hey, like we're not each other's person and that's fine, but like, we got married super, super young and they have like an amicable split and like, everything's great and

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

dating him and he's like, Oh, this is my soulmate. This is like who I'm supposed to be with

Track 1

Mhm.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

ex wife are BFFs. like take the kids out.

Track 1

Yeah,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

just like a second wife. That could happen.

Track 1

could happen.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I think that might be my journey. Or I date a super young guy who's emotionally mature and I'm a cougar.

Track 1

Rawr.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Gross. Jesus fuck. That was so gross and cringey. Oh my god. What the fuck was that?

Track 1

That reminded me of like middle school,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh,

Track 1

kids would go rawr.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Roar. I hated that. that. I hated that.

Track 1

Oh, I'm so hot.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

okay. Ready? Ready?

Track 1

What? Penis. Who

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

What? Not penis. I'm staring at a candlestick. Okay. Okay. Okay. Word association. Uh, can. Oh, okay. Good soup. Oh my god, that shit is so fucking funny. I die.

Track 1

Alright, ready? Word association.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Pee.

Track 1

Okay, ready? Word association. Dog. I

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

What the fuck did you say? Dog toenail.

Track 1

don't know what else to say. This is hard. Word association. Holiday.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I can't. Suddenly I don't speak English. Holiday bunt cake.

Track 1

What the fuck? We've never had bum kicks on holidays.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I don't know. I don't know. Um, Uh, word association. Uh, nature trail.

Track 1

Dirt.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Dirt.

Track 1

Dirt.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Have you ever done the game with people where it's like, you

Track 1

You have to finish it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

huh?

Track 1

You have to finish it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No,

Track 1

Explain it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like a word so like we both would get one, two, three, and then say a word and then we'd have to like to the same word.

Track 1

Oh, no, I've never played this. Do you want to do that?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

You want to do it?

Track 1

Yeah. Do we have, like, guidelines?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

No guidelines.

Track 1

Okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay, um, let me think of a word. Okay, ready? Three,

Track 1

two,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

one, fire. Okay.

Track 1

Okay, ready?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Um,

Track 1

know this. You know this.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

three, two,

Track 1

one,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

bonfire. Fire. What? It was this so confident, you know this, you know this.

Track 1

Okay. Wait, you said bonfire?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Bonfire.

Track 1

Okay,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

you said water. three, two, one. S'mores.

Track 1

Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. No, no, we know this one now.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Uh. Okay, you said wood and I said s'mores.

Track 1

Okay, ready?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Three

Track 1

and s'mores. Three?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

like, telepathically trying to tell me something and I just don't see it. Okay,

Track 1

Okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

three,

Track 1

two, one.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

one,

Track 1

Chocolate.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

OH

Track 1

Oh.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I WAS GONNA SAY BITCH! I was gonna say chocolate, I swear on my life.

Track 1

Okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

thinking chocolate like, wieners.

Track 1

Oh. What?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

He said ow.

Track 1

Okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Fuck.

Track 1

stick?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I said stick and you said chocolate.

Track 1

Oh, okay. Stick

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

You're so confident here. Like I have no idea.

Track 1

and chocolate. Ready?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I'm not ready. I have no fucking clue. Okay, last one. If we don't get

Track 1

This is, yeah, then we're changing it up.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Three two

Track 1

one.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Hershey's

Track 1

dog. Oh.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I was staying with the chocolate theme.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

we suck at this.

Track 1

Yeah, we do. You want to do one more?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Sure. Okay. No, no, let me think of a word. Uh, okay.

Track 1

Ready? Three,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

two, one. Jacket. Wow. So different.

Track 1

So different.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Uh, three. Mm hmm.

Track 1

Okay. Three, two,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

one.

Track 1

raincoat. Okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

said raincoat?

Track 1

Yeah. Three, two,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it up on

Track 1

Oh, I know what I'm going to say.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Raincoat and beach. Raincoat and beach. Uh,

Track 1

Two things that go with both of them. Or one thing that goes with both of them. Raincoat and beach.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

uh, okay. Okay.

Track 1

3,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Two,

Track 1

2, 1

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

storm.

Track 1

Umbrella.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

You're so good at this. Okay, umbrella and storm. Okay.

Track 1

We're onto something.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

We're on the same path. Um.

Track 1

Oh, I know what I'm going to say.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay.

Track 1

Stay with the theme.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Three,

Track 1

two,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

one,

Track 1

rain boots. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Stay with the theme. Stay with the theme.

Track 1

I was a lightning.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh my god, I'm so glad we got there.

Track 1

That's funny.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

so glad we got there.

Track 1

Do we have anything else we need to talk about?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Um,

Track 1

I think my stray cat's pregnant.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

That's insane because my friend Mel, um, took in a stray cat and she's also pregnant. So she is, like, given birth any day now.

Track 1

I'm scared she's going to give birth while I'm at mom's.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

She'll be

Track 1

So I'm gonna, yeah I'm gonna set up, I have a box out there, I'm gonna clean up the box today.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

took her to the vet to, like, get her spayed and they were like, this cat's pregnant. And,

Track 1

yikes.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, so she's like, like ready to give birth, but she already found somebody to adopt her. They named her Violet. She's fucking adorable. Um, and Mel's just waiting on the, the kittens to be born, and then we're gonna have to like figure out what to do with the kittens, but I can't wait.

Track 1

yeah. No.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

one, but there's no fucking way. My

Track 1

No.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

have them for dinner.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, they don't get along with cats, so Yeah, so she's just trying to find and like a lot of like rescues and stuff will take kittens in so

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

option but Yeah, that's crazy

Track 1

If we had, like, a spare bathroom, I would take him in and foster him. We just don't have the space for it here.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, I

Track 1

Like, I just don't have any space where, like, Luna could be okay and then, like, I just have them somewhere in a closet or something, like,

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

cats Like if there's like I know there's more than one like you should take them to like a spay place and get them spayed

Track 1

yeah, I'm going to I think I'm going to focus on that when I get back from Mom's. Because that's Two of them are kittens, so I knew they were too young to be able to do that. But I just feel bad, cause like, we're thinking about moving. Like, I'm gonna move and I'm just gonna leave them here? Like, I feed them twice a day.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I

Track 1

They come back to my house.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Maybe

Track 1

So I think I'm gonna

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

for them

Track 1

Yeah. The people next door want one of them, but If they were like cute and like they would come and cuddle on me I would do it but like they still are like hissy and like panicky.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah,

Track 1

So we'll see. We'll figure it out.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

mean they're outside cats

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Um

Track 1

what is the name of the book we're reading for next week?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

It's called grief is a thing with feathers.

Track 1

It's a short. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it's really short, but I just like, I saw it in the bookstore like a while ago and I was like, I'm buying this book. Like it looked like really good, but it's really fucking short. It's like about like a dad who has like three, I think it's three young boys or two young boys and his wife passes away. And it's kind of like. About them, like kind of healing from that trauma throughout their lives. But it's has like an element of like, and I don't necessarily know until we read it, but it has like an element of like a, I think it's a crow comes into their lives and, um,

Track 1

Kind of like a spiritual element.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

yeah, kind of like guides them through like their grief. So hence grief is a thing with feathers. Just like, I think it's going to be a very sweet.

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Story it's going to be sad I think but we'll knock that out We'll talk about that and then we'll start bride. I'm

Track 1

Yep. Me too. Yeah. When I.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I've

Track 1

I was checking Oh! You go first.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

okay

Track 1

You go, you're older.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay, fair fair, um, I don't remember what I was gonna say. Oh i've heard like mixed things about it Can you hear me? Okay, I just pushed something. I've heard mixed things about it, but I know like this author, it's like her first in this genre. So I think people who are used to her books

Track 1

Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it's her book and they're not liking it because it's not their preferred genre.

Track 1

Genre, yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

But if you like that genre, people are liking it.

Track 1

Yeah, when I, um, was checking out at Barnes Noble, the lady was like, this one's flying off the shelves. Like, she was like, everyone's buying this book. And I was like, yeah, I was like, I have to

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

it,

Track 1

I'm interested.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, when I bought it, the guy was like, I'm reading this one right now. It's like a good palette cleanser and I'm like, okay, cool. But like, I'm interested to see how it's going to like turn out because it's, described as a paranormal romance.

Track 1

Is it?

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, but I don't know what that necessarily means because it's about werewolves.

Track 1

I heard there's a possible sequel, like sequel, like there's a possibility for a sequel and she was saying that it's not going to be the next book that she releases but she is considering writing a sequel to it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Yeah, I think we'll get through it quick. I like, I mean, I like shit like that, so it should

Track 1

Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

So yeah, so I'm going to read, I'm going to finish Carnage probably in the next few days and then I'll knock out Grief is a Thing with Feathers and then I'll start Bride.

Track 1

Okay.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

then this month I want to fucking read, um, Ice Planet Barbarians.

Track 1

Did she tell me about that? I don't think so.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh my god. I'm so excited. It's like a whole, like the girls who know know. It's like a whole like world basically and there's like a bunch of different books, but I picked up Ice Planet and it's basically like this girl who gets abducted by aliens and like the alien, like when she's abducted, like she finds out that like the alien has like deemed her like his like mate.

Track 1

Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

fucking excited.

Track 1

Okay. Yeah. Okay, guys, so you can follow us on Instagram, um, at my sister made me read it podcast. Amy is Amy Protorati. I'm Abby Protorati on Instagram. All that info is down below in our show notes. I've even linked it for you guys. Please write us on the platform you're listening to or listening on. Um, we definitely need some reviews, uh, maybe put your thoughts on this book or on the glow. See if like there was a deeper meaning that we just missed. Um, what you would, oh, we didn't say what we rated it.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh,

Track 1

I forgot what I rated it. Yeah, I think I rated it like a three, four.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

I think I rated it a three.

Track 1

Um, yeah, but that's about it guys.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Oh, yeah. That's it for

Track 1

Hopefully we'll be back next week.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

with my, um, my fucking personal life next

Track 1

Yep. We'll see if my cat kittens all right all right all right.

squadcaster-703j_1_04-02-2024_104525

Okay, bye.

Track 1

Bye

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